


I'm Going Back to the Start

by Rain Ayo (wolfielyall)



Series: Chulanont School of Life and Love [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, F/F, Fade to Black Intercourse, Future Viktuuri Children, Happy Ending, M/M, Modern AU, Musician Christophe Giacometti, Patreon is your friend, Romance, Social Media Expert Phichit Chulanont, bigbangonice2018, no major angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 08:22:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 38,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13700616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfielyall/pseuds/Rain%20Ayo
Summary: "You're not going to be able to walk tomorrow..."It was supposed to be simple, meet an up and coming musician and pitch your services to him.  Phichit had spent the last few years helping all kinds of artists and musicians build social media followings, allowing them to be able to stand on their own without corporate backing.  He was good, really good.  He had the ultimate team with him, friends that were exceptionally good at what they did.  So why is his tongue stuck in his mouth and his heart hammering in his chest?  Yuuri didn't mention that this musician was gorgeous.





	1. Come Up to Meet You

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for giving my story a chance. I've put so much love into this and I hope you will enjoy it as well. <3  
> Before we start I really have to say thank you to [Emily_Nicoidh](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Emily_Nicaoidh/pseuds/Emily_Nicaoidh) for beta-ing my fic. You've got to read her BBOI fic, o magnum mysterium. It was so so so good!  
> Also the BIGGEST thanks of all go to [Deep Bluuuue](http://deep-bluuuue-sea.tumblr.com/) for the artwork that's featured in this story. I'm so in love and I cannot begin to express just how grateful and happy that I am to have received it. <3 Thank you!!!!  
> I have to give extra special thanks to the Phichimetti Discord for putting up with my constant questions and doubts. You guys are amazing. I <3 you so much!  
> Last but not least, thank you, [gabapple](http://archiveofourown.org/users/gabapple/pseuds/gabapple) for just being you and amazing. You've done some amazing things for my confidence and been so incredibly supportive. <3

It was the kind of day that made you want to hum a little as you walked with that slight jump to your step.  Mid Spring in New York City and everything felt alive and wonderful.  The only thing marring the beautiful day was the clock.  Georgi was running late, but it was just an afternoon coffee date with his friends after work.  

Georgi smiled in passing at the sweet girl who worked the coffee bar before heading over to the table where his friends were waiting for him.  Unfortunately, he didn’t have time to dwell on the brief wave she gave him as he passed.  He’d have to remember to stop by before leaving and greet her properly.  

Taking the last seat in their corner booth, he was quick to apologize.  Guang Hong slid in a bit closer to Leo to help make room.  “Sorry, my hairdresser was behind schedule.”  With a deep dramatic sigh, he ran a hand along the back of his head.  A fresh haircut was always distracting as he would run his hands through his hair just to feel the freshly trimmed hair.  “Did I miss anything?”

“Uhh...not particularly.  Guang Hong was just talking about Phichit’s latest...hashtag.” Yuuri patted Guang Hong’s shoulder comfortingly.  The shorter man was a rather unhealthy shade of red and he dropped his face in his hands.   Georgi felt sorry for the poor soul and slid Guang Hong’s drink closer so he could collect himself for a moment.  It earned him a weak but grateful smile.

Georgi slid into the booth beside Leo and offered Guang Hong a brief pat on the hand.  He had seen the hashtag in question, and it was truly done out of great affection for both Leo and Guang Hong, but after months and months of cutesy hashtags and candid photos posted without warning, everyone was starting to reach their breaking point with their beloved boss.

So the five friends had gathered at a cafe down the street from their beautiful office.  Leo was more focused on Guang Hong for the moment, while the petit man tried to decide if he could manage without screaming about this for a little while.  Viktor’s expression was stern and he looked ready to simply pick up his husband and leave on a permanent vacation, not that Yuuri would ever accept running out on his best friend.  He had been the one to organize their meeting and he also seemed to be the one with a potential plan.

“I don’t need my life constantly live-tweeted!” Guang Hong sat back up and leaned against Leo, taking in comfort from his partner. (Gosh, they were always so cute.)  “I know that’s how he says he cares, but there are strangers that know about me falling down the escalator by Times Square now!”

“He wants to hang out and that’s great, but he’s...interrupting date night.” Leo put a hand over Guang Hong’s.  It seemed they had taken the brunt of Phichit’s most recent tweet-capades.  

“Believe me...if he calls to talk about work again while we’re having sex, as much as I love Phichit, I will kill him,” Viktor said with a deep frown.

Fidgeting with the hair at the nape of his neck, Georgi leaned forward.  “What do you propose we do about this?  You didn’t come here just to complain about him.”

Yuuri took a deep breath and pulled out his phone.  “I think it’s time we set him up.”

“Phichit?  On a date?” Leo gasped.  “Yuuri...I don’t know if it’s going to work…”

“The last three guys he tried to date ended up running away screaming,” Guang Hong said, rubbing his forehead for a moment.  He looked the least convinced that this would work, but perhaps that was a bit of the bitterness talking.  

The table grew silent for a moment.  Phichit was a great friend and he was extremely loyal, which should have been enough to convince anyone that Phichit was worth dating.  Unfortunately for their dear friend, Phichit was enthusiastic.  He couldn’t get past the initial getting to know you stage in a relationship because he was practically smothering his potential suitors.  Phichit’s love for social media meant that his first reaction to any situation was to immediately start live tweeting.  After his last failed relationship, however, he had sworn off his Twitter for life.  It lasted two hours.

The five at the table shared a look and turned back to Yuuri.  “I have a suggestion.” He slid his phone to the center of the table.  A photo of Yuuri with a taller blonde man was there for them all to see.  “This is Chris.  He’s in one of my dance classes.”

The first thing Georgi noticed was the sparkling green eyes and heavy cow lashes.  “My, my, my…” Georgi wished that he could hold the phone closer just so he could get a better look at the rather striking man.

“He certainly does look like someone that would catch Phichit’s eye.” Guang Hong’s fist unclenched and a bit of the tension started to dissipate.  

Georgi looked up at Viktor who was smirking with an almost malicious satisfaction.  “Chris is a bit of a starving artist...or musician specifically.” Viktor could see the honey in this trap and wasn’t bothering to hide his glee.

Leo looked up at that.  His mouth formed a rather cute little “o”.  “Phichit does like the idea of the bohemian lifestyle.”

“And musicians and artists are clearly people he’s attracted to.” Yuuri looked at Leo, Guang Hong, and Georgi pointedly and earned a bit of chuckle from them.  A writer, videographer, and designer had been just a few of the people that he gravitated towards and pulled into his orbit.  Yuuri smiled softly and looked back at the phone.  “Phichit deserves this.  He’s a hopeless romantic that’s just hoping for his happily ever after.  Even if it means that he lives vicariously through us.”

“How do we stop him from scarring this one off before they can get properly attached?” Guang Hong asked.  

“That’s...where things get a bit sneaky,” Viktor explained.  “Chris is a musician with a very...old school mindset.  He doesn’t use social media.” He paused, looking at each of them briefly.  “At all.  He’s been trying to start his career by getting an agent and eventually a record deal.  Unfortunately, he’s been turned down for one rather silly issue.”

Viktor shook his head, looking ready for a rant, but Yuuri put a hand over his to stop him before they went off on a tangent.  “He isn’t a composer.  And while a singer/songwriter is a really popular genre, a record company doesn’t want to have to hire two people when they can hire one,” Yuuri continued.  

Georgi couldn’t even begin to believe it.  The notion of someone in 2017  **not** using Twitter or Facebook or Instagram or  _ anything at all  _ was inconceivable.  

Guang Hong waved his hands briefly.  “No, you have to be joking.  In this day and age, who isn’t using social media.  It can’t be possible.  I mean, they…”  He trailed off thoughtfully.  “Wouldn’t know that Phichit was live tweeting about them.”

Viktor sat back in his chair and took a sip of his tea, chuckling briefly.  “As silly as this is going to sound, Chris never took the time to invest in a proper phone.  He just recently bought one of the cheaper smartphones that come with the prepay plans and doesn’t use it for more than an alarm clock and a way to call his boss when the trains are having issues.”

“Does he at least have a computer?  How does he listen to music?  He must know about internet radio at least?”  Georgi felt a sudden urge to find this absolutely beautiful Chris and just teach him about the internet.

“He’s 27 and is just about to give up his chance at singing for good.”

The statement hung there for a moment between them.  Shock faded away quickly to concern and a bit of frustration.  They had all had brushes with the sudden crushing feeling of failure and seen close friends pack up and run away from the city that could destroy dreams as easily as it built them up.  

Yuuri picked up his phone and switched to a video.  “We went to go see him last week.”  It was only a short portion of a song, but Chris’s deep voice was smooth and pulled you in.  He was just on the right side of that gravely tone that was sexy without really trying.  

“Wow…” Guang Hong whispered as the clip ended.  

“We need video of him…” Leo said, visibly plotting everything they would need to help him.  

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Viktor cut in.  “The tentative plan is that Chris is going to be Phichit’s project.”

Yuuri nodded.  “If Phichit goes into this thinking it’s a blind date, he’ll go at it like he’s gone after the last few guys he’s dated.  With all sorts of romantic notions and live-tweeting his blind date.”  He sighed and shook his head.  “If he thinks this is work, then he’ll be focused on helping Chris and he won’t be setting himself up for doom.”

“And when they find out that we’ve set them up?” Georgi asked, not certain he was going to like the answer.

“Hopefully by that point, it’ll just be a funny story we tell at their wedding.” Viktor was back to smirking and looking a bit like an ass.  Georgi was starting to feel bad for Phichit despite everything and Phichit had made a hashtag about his break-up with Anya.  He had been a short-lived, but seriously uncomfortable meme for a week.  Viktor was simply taking too much joy in passing Phichit off to someone else for a change.

Yuuri frowned, shooting Viktor a look enough to make him shrink back in a bit of concern.  It was always clear who actually was in control in this relationship.  “This isn’t guaranteed to work any more than any of our other attempts have worked to help distract Phichit.”

“I just need a week of peace.” It wasn’t just a hint of desperation in Leo’s voice.  It was a lot of desperation.  He shook his head and took Guang Hong’s hand.  “I think we can all agree that we love Phichit, but we’re all going to kill him if things stay the way they are.”

This could go incredibly well or turn into another disaster.  Either way, Phichit was going to be a bit distracted for the next few days.  Georgi only hoped that it would be good this time.  He didn’t want Phichit to keep making the same mistake.  Keep reaching for the wrong thing out of the wrong person.  Catching Yuuri’s eye, he could see the same worry echoed there as well.  Yuuri nodded for a moment though and that gave Georgi hope.  No one knew Phichit like Yuuri did, and if he was willing to try, then Georgi would help in any way that he could.

 

*

 

Phichit finished the last of the walk home from the office.  It was ten blocks between the two points, and he could always take the subway if he needed to get somewhere quickly.  It was a pleasant day in late spring, so it hadn’t settled into the ungodly temperatures of a summer by the ocean.  Phichit had a comfortable apartment overlooking one of the many small parks in NYC.  It was a bit more spacious than some of his previous apartments with a separate bedroom and bathroom.  For all that he ran a successful and lucrative business, Phichit wasn’t up to hobnobbing with the upper crust yet.  

He dropped off his belongings on an end table by the front door and hung his coat on the coat rack.  His phone chimed and Phichit looked to see what it was.  The apartment was quiet as he flipped through Instagram and pulled out leftovers for dinner.  The microwave dinged after three minutes and Phichit put down his phone long enough to pull out the tupperware.  

It was 30 minutes later when he finally put away the tupperware in the sink and glanced at the clock.  Phichit sighed and put his phone in his pocket to look at his apartment.  It was warm and inviting.  He loved that everything was plush and worn.  His sofa was only a year old, but it was covered completely in an assortment of random pillows and handmade quilts that had seen better days.  He didn’t bother with a television, settling on a nice laptop and a desktop in his office down the short hall.  

Phichit sighed and walked to look at his pictures on his bookshelf.  His family smiled at him as well as photos of his friends.  The photos were so happy, but he felt detached from them.  Viktor holding onto Yuuri.  Leo teasing Guang Hong and pulling laughter out of him without fail.  His eldest sister’s wedding photo was still one of the most beautiful he’s ever taken.  

He’d had his business for going on five years now.  It wasn’t much while he was in school, but he built himself a foundation that helped him become the successful social media personality he was.  He had clients he was proud to have helped build their own careers and business.  He was at the top of the world...

...and he was alone in his apartment eating leftovers.  

He groaned and took a deep breath.  There was no sense in dwelling on that fact.  It wasn’t for lack of trying that he was still single and absolutely attractive.  He’d had a string of flings and attempted relationships, but he wasn’t completely alone.  He did have friends that cared about him.  He was incredibly grateful for that.  

And speaking of friends, he collected his phone and sent off a quick text to Yuuri.

_ What time should we meet up to go to that bar tonight? _

It took a few minutes, but suddenly his phone was ringing.  Phichit answered with a cheery, “Yuuuuuri!”

“Phichit, what are you talking about?  Viktor and I can’t go to the bar tonight.  Didn’t you hear?  Yuuko and Takashi are having a date night.  We promised to stay with the girls.”  Wait, what?  That couldn’t be right?  Why would they send him off to a dive bar alone? 

“Well.  Um, what?  Why am I going by myself?  I thought we were going together?” Phichit chewed on his bottom lip for a moment.  

“He’s a potential client, Phichit, you don’t need us to be there with you.”  There was some shuffling and it sounded like Yuuri was doing the dishes.  Early dinner for them, it seemed.  

“I know that.  It’s not like I don’t go see clients on my own anyway.” Phichit usually loved meetings, but he didn’t know what to make of going to a dive bar to see a musician and maybe he would give him a little help.  The whole setup was just not at all what he was used to and he didn’t know if he should be excited or worried.  Viktor had been quick to sing this musician’s praises though, and anyone that could make Viktor forget about Yuuri for five seconds had to be good, right?

“It’s not a big deal, Phichit.  You can get a drink and listen to a few songs.  He’ll appreciate it, believe me.  It doesn’t mean he needs to be a client, but you could maybe share a picture with him or a tweet or whatever.  Any kind of attention from you would help him get his career going.”

“Yuuri, we’re going to be late.”  Phichit could hear Viktor summoning his husband away.  So he really was going to do this alone then.

“I’ve got to go, Phichit.  I’ll see you on Monday.  Have fun,” Yuuri said before hanging up quickly.  

Hanging was a good way to describe how Phichit was feeling at that moment.  Left hanging.

 

*

 

The bar was the kind of hole in the wall place that New York loved, but barely even knew about.  The alcohol was cheap and the little stage could give someone the illusion of a future with your name in lights.  The clientele ranged from the supporting cast of the Piano Man to a group of NYU students that were trying too hard to be cool.  Everyone seemed to know everyone, which gave it a surprisingly warm atmosphere despite the years of spilled beer covering everything.

There was an acoustic guitar and a keyboard waiting on the stage.  He must have been in between sets so Phichit went to the bar and asked for a cider.  Alcohol in hand, he took a seat at a table in the corner and flipped through his Instagram for a bit.  Viktor had been sharing photos of their new poodle, Vicchan, making Phichit snicker.  The mini poodle was adorable, but he would be the last thing that Yuuri would be allowed to drunkenly name. 

A chord being strum broke through Phichit’s thoughts.  A deep breathy voice greeted the room briefly before immediately going into a song.  Phichit looked up and was immediately taken aback by the man purring into the microphone.  

A tight black t-shirt looked painted on his torso over a pair of equally tight black jeans.  He sat on a stool with his guitar across his lap, long fingers gracefully plucking out sweet sounds.  Shaggy, soft blond hair frame a gorgeous pair of green eyes.  Phichit was doomed even before that by his smoky voice winding its way up his spine.

For five songs, Phichit felt like he was being schooled in the intimate workings of this incredible man’s mind.  He sang a heart-wrenching rendition of Mad World and it was all rounded off by a seriously dangerous cover of Wicked Games.  Phichit started to quickly chug the last of his cider and tried to cool his flush.  This was the guy he was supposed to be helping out?  He wanted to help him out of his pants.

The man was finished for the evening and started to pack up.  Phichit couldn’t help but continue to stare at him as the man bent over to collect his tips.  He jumped quickly as he realized that he was caught staring and now the man was coming his way.  He was caught staring, staring from the moment he had started to sing.  How in the world was he going to get out of this without seeming like a teen about to pop?

“You’ve been staring all through that last set.  From the blush, it’s safe to infer that you enjoyed it?” He was smirking.  Smirking like this was the most entertainment that he’d had all day.  Like he’d scored some sort of Made My Audience Make A Mess Award.  

“I...well...you’re incredibly talented.”  Smooth.  As if he hasn’t heard that before.

The man chuckled and took a seat across from Phichit.  “You don’t do this very often, do you?” 

“No, usually I can speak.” Phichit held out a hand in hopes of redeeming himself even just a little.  “I’m Phichit.”

“Chris.  That’s an interesting name,” the man said accepting the handshake.  

“Family immigrated here right after I was born.  I’m Thai.”  

“That explains your lack of accent,” Chris said.  “Third generation myself.”

“Oh?  Where from?” Phichit leaned forward curiously.  

“Switzerland.”

“Chocolate’s good there.”

“Amongst other things.” Chris smirked.  It was a kind of roguish grin that you knew was trouble, but made you weak in the knees anyway.  “I have to admit.  I wasn’t expecting you to be Yuuri’s boss.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to be…” Phichit cleared his throat before he said something that would get him in trouble. 

Chris chuckled.  “Yuuri made it sound like you could actually get me out of here and with a proper record deal.”

“I can definitely help you get your career started.  You’re talented and you’re gorgeous.  That’s enough to make any fan happy.  You’re really wasting your talent in this hole in the wall.” It was a comfortable hole in the wall, but still a hole in the wall.  

“I’m sensing a ‘but’.” Chris’s handsome face was marred by the sudden frown.

“It’s not exactly recommended that I date my clients.” Oh, crap, did he say that out loud?  He better do something quick.  “I mean, it can be messy for us both.  Not that I even know if you’d be interested in me…”

The light of understanding hit his brilliant green eyes and Chris’s lips curled into a predatory smile.  Oh, what in the world had he gotten himself into.  One long calloused finger reached out to trail down the front of Phichit’s immaculate dress shirt.  “You are thinking pretty far ahead already?  I don’t know if I’ve ever known anyone so forward.”

His usually tanned skin flushed and his eyes darkened as his mind kept going with the picture he was forming in his head.  “I really want you to come back to my place and let me cook you breakfast.  I want you to sing to me like you just were somewhere private so that I can do so many things to you in return.”

Chris looked down at him for a long moment.  His expression seemed to grow neutral as if he was actually debating everything that was being suggested to him at that moment.  Phichit felt a cold hand grip his spine and he gulped.  Why did he say all of that?  That was incredibly forward.  He should never have made such a bold statement.  He was too hopeful.  He was going to scare away this perfectly sculpted dream of a man before he had the chance to even know how he took his coffee.  He couldn’t stop the flashbacks to Ethan and Robert and the trainwreck of those past relationships.  

Phichit laughed shakily.  “Oh...don’t look so serious...I’m not...you don’t have to do anything.”  He quickly shoved his phone into his pocket and reached for his coat.  “Just forget I said anything.”  

“You have a crap poker face.” Chris stopped him immediately by taking his arm. Phichit looked up at him nervously.  “You can’t hide anything.”

What did that mean?  Oh, his mouth was hanging open.  Good job, close it!

Chris stood up with the grace of a feline hunter.  He was a head taller than Phichit and he leaned in with bright green eyes sparkling.  “There’s a chance that I’ll have to cook you breakfast tomorrow.”

A blush spread like wildfire across Phichit’s cheeks.  “O-Oh?”

Chris pulled Phichit in close and brought his lips to his ear.  That smoky voice suddenly brushed up against him and Phichit froze.  “You’re not going to be able to walk tomorrow.”  
  


  


*

 

Warm and tired, but blissfully so, Phichit rolled onto his back.  There was a bit of sun coming through his sheer curtains and he let out a long sigh.  The house was quiet, and for a moment, Phichit wondered if he was alone.  That couldn’t be right, could it?  They had made plenty of mention of breakfast the night before.  Chris wasn’t going to just run off on him, was he? 

He jumped out of bed and slipped on a pair of loose sleep pants, tying them quickly as he opened the door to come into the main room.  The scent of eggs and toast hit him quickly and there was Chris, in just an apron and a pair of boxer briefs, making breakfast.  Phichit’s face lit up and he rushed over.  “You’re making breakfast,” he said, looking at what he was cooking.  

“I said as much.  Though, I am disappointed that you’re walking.  I will need to be more thorough in the future.” Chris’s laugh was like bells and he was glowing with what Phichit hoped was at least partial afterglow. 

“You were (ahem) plenty thorough last night.” Phichit reached around to sneak a piece of toast.  “I don’t think I can remember the last time I felt...well…” He cleared his throat and looked away.  

“And truly fucked?” Chris supplied.  He slid the eggs he finished onto two plates for them.

“I was going to go with boneless, but yeah.” Phichit smiled, trying to hide his blush.  He set about collecting condiments and silverware for them.  

Chris brought out the food, also having found the last bit of apple and strawberry in Phichit’s fridge.  They were cut and waiting to be enjoyed.  Phichit couldn’t believe how lucky he was when just last night he was bemoaning his empty apartment.  He sat down across from Chris and watched him tuck into his food for a moment in wonder.  

“You’re doing it again,” Chris commented, looking up through thick lashes.  

“I-I-what?” Phichit sputtered and looked down at his food quickly.  Ogling again.  How did he keep doing that?

Chris chuckled, watching him for a few moments.  Phichit forced himself to start eating.  “Uh, this is really good.  You didn’t have to cook for me though.  I really appreciate it.”

“I enjoy this part. I don’t have a big enough flat to be able to properly pamper any guests.  Not to mention, you were incredibly intense last night.  I don’t usually end my sets with Wicked Game, but for you, I was willing to make an exception.” He made it sound so casual as if he wasn’t bothered by it in the least.  Chris reached for a strawberry and popped it into his mouth.  It was only marginally distracting, so maybe Phichit had gotten the worst of his lust out of his system.  

He still blushed, trying to hide it behind a bite of egg.  Phichit reached for a bit of apple on the plate between them.  “I don’t usually combust the first time I see someone.  I’m still surprised that you came back here with me.  I was pretty close to being ridiculous.”

“It’s not every day that I can influence someone to such a degree.  It’s flattering.” Chris’s soft smile was warm and hit something inside of Phichit that sent little butterflies dancing everywhere.  It was just the right mixture of boyish and contentment.  Did he put that there?  That’s amazing, right?  

Chris reached for Phichit’s hand across the table, halting his brief internal happy dance before it got out of hand.  “You’re still blushing and I don’t know if I’ve actually earned it by this point.”

“I think we did this very out of order.” Phichit’s small chuckle was nervous and he fidgeted with Chris’s fingers a bit.  “I’m not even sure how to talk to you at this point."   


“How about we start where we should have?  Tell me about yourself.” Chris rested his chin in his hand.  

He had a softness about him that Phichit was finding irresistible.  The way a stray lock fell across his forehead, landing just so on his eyebrow.  His green eyes sparkled in the soft morning light coming from the window beside them.  Chris’s lips were perfect, moving with a curl of a smile.  Wait...moving...oh shit, he’s talking!

“Phichit?” Chris’s tone was concerned and Phichit knew he was in trouble.  This was how it all started with his last boyfriend.  Phichit had gotten lost in beautiful eyes and smile that he was too much for him.    

Phichit got up suddenly, his face dark red with his shame.  “I-I-I’m so sorry.  I just-I didn’t mean to be weird.  Forgive me.”

Chris got up with him, reaching out to grab him by the arm.  “Phichit, you’re getting really upset about this.  It’s okay, really.  You’re just a little intense, I take it.”

This was going horribly wrong.  He wasn’t going to be able to save himself at this rate.  Phichit ran a hand through his hair, turning away.  “I-just-my friends tell me I’m romantic, I know I’m being ridiculous.  You’re just  **you** and this isn’t some kind of novel about perfect people.”

Chris sighed and crossed his arms.  “What are you talking about, Phichit?”

“I can’t stop looking at you and I’m spazzing like a little girl with a crush,” Phichit pulled away and began to pace.  “I’m  _ intense  _ and this is how I scare everyone away.”

“Scare?  Really?  The only thing that’s scaring me is that you’re panicking over the fact that you’re attracted to me.”

“It’s not funny.”  Phichit stopped his pacing, turning to Chris quickly.  One hand on his hip and the other wagged a finger at Chris.  “You don’t get it.  Most of my friends are in these incredibly deep and strong relationships.  I’ve spent years watching all of this romance blossom around me, but every time I get involved with someone they just run off.  I like to take pictures constantly and sometimes I live tweet my dates.  I don’t know how to be whatever it is that got my friends into these perfect relationships.”

Chris held out his hands and leaned back.  “We just had sex, maybe you’re putting too much pressure on us both?”

“I...well...maybe…” Phichit sort of fizzled out a bit and returned to his seat dejectedly.  He shouldn’t be like this after just one night, right?  Then why couldn’t he just settle down?  Why was he always so anxious about this?  He was really rushing, wasn’t he?  

Chris watched him for a moment while Phichit managed to collect himself.  He seemed satisfied after a moment and sat back down.  “You should eat while it’s still warm.  I’ll need to leave soon.  I have a few classes this morning.”

“Classes?” Phichit looked surprised at that.  He started to poke at the last of his eggs when his stomach reminded him that it was very interested in being filled. 

“I take a few dance classes a week and yoga every day.  Yoga keeps me centered when things are especially difficult.  You might want to try it,” Chris said.  

“Huh?  Oh.”  Phichit looked down at his plate thoughtfully.  “Yeah, maybe.  Where do you recommend?”   


Chris ate the last bit of egg on his plate and pushed it away from himself.  “I take classes at a community center.  They work completely on a barter system so I don’t have to pay for the classes.  Sometimes I teach guitar lessons.  Sometimes I help out with the community garden.  You can pay if you’re not up for teaching and whatnot.  It’s not unreasonably priced.”

“That sounds so nice.” It put a soft and almost dreamy smile on Phichit’s face.  He could just imagine Chris helping out, it seemed to suit him perfectly.  Not that he knew him well, but maybe Phichit just liked the idea that Chris was a warm person like that.  

Chris smiled at him and came to his feet.  “You’ll have to forgive me if I leave you the dishes.”  Phichit was quick to assure him that he would take care of everything.  Chris had already done more than enough.  “Do you mind if I use your shower?  I have to fight for the hot water every day at my apartment.”

That was a beautiful image and Phichit was quick to blush.  “Go right ahead.  I don’t have any place I need to be in a rush.”

The door shut and Phichit was alone, still feeling a bit embarrassed.  He got up and collected all of the plates and prepared them to be put in the dishwasher.  He was going to need a good excuse on Monday why he didn’t actually accomplish anything useful with Chris.  Maybe he could get away with only talking to Yuuri about it.

 

*

 

“I appreciate that you had your friend come to see me, Yuuri, but maybe next time warn me.  He couldn’t stop staring at me, and while I know damn well I’m probably the hottest thing he’s seen in awhile, he couldn’t even hold a conversation with me”  Chris gave Yuuri a brief look during one of the breaks they had in the afternoon pole dancing class.  

Yuuri winced and tried to do the swing they were supposed to be practicing.  “Phichit,” he began before pausing to decide how to continue.  “Phichit is a little intense at times.”  

“Intense isn’t bad.  Intense is the three hours we spent in his bed and it was glorious.  He had me face first in the bed and I swear I saw the face of God.” Chris looked off, clearly bringing up the intense and incredibly satisfying memory to the front of his thoughts.  A coil of warmth spun around his spine just at the thought of all of that intensity.  He didn’t know how all of that raw power could possibly fit into that smaller frame, but he could handle doing that again and again.

“Uh, seriously more than I needed to know,” Yuuri stopped, giving Chris a sharp look.  It made the taller man chuckle lightly, which only made Yuuri bristle more.  “Phichit, unfortunately, has a bad habit of scaring away potential boyfriends.  He’s more than just intense though.  He’s a good person, a wonderful friend, and once you get passed him driving you up a wall for a while, he evens out and you wonder why you even worried about him in the first place.”

“That sounds like experience talking.” Chris shifted his weight and flipped himself up onto the pole and into a spin.  

Yuuri’s eyes grew distant for a moment and Chris paused, curious to see how all of this was part of what made his friend.  Yuuri smiled and he looked at Chris with a brightness to himself seemed to be close to what he had whenever Viktor was around.  “When I started college, I didn’t know what to expect.  My parents ran a small inn just outside of San Francisco and I didn’t know the first thing about moving outside of California.  Who knew that the rest of the country wasn’t like California...at all in many cases?  Phichit was loud and excitable and I was just quiet.  I didn’t know how to make him just stop talking for five minutes.  But he seemed fascinated by everything I did or said or liked.  It took him two months to get it all out of his system and by that point, he had pushed so much and told me so much about himself that I was half smitten with him.  We’ve been friends ever since.”  

Yuuri copied Chris’s motion, but stopped halfway through the spin and held himself up with his thighs.  A smirk curled up on his lips as he turned to look at Chris.  “I’ll be honest, Chris.  If you aren’t going to try, you should forget about him.  I’m not going to be happy if you go in for another ‘intense’ session and that’s all he’s going to get out of it.  Phichit has a glass heart and if you even crack it slightly, I will crack you.”

Chris stumbled in his attempted spin, landing on his backside.  That was painful but not nearly as painful as looking at that vicious smirk on Yuuri’s face.  Where in the world did this demon suddenly come from?  The usually quiet man suddenly seemed to have devil horns and a tail coiling around him.  He spun through the rest of the move and slipped off the pole with practiced ease.  

Chris hadn’t ever felt so grateful for a teacher interrupting a conversation in his life.  

 

*

 

When you step into Chulanont Agency’s offices, the first thing you might notice is how bright everything is.  One wall facing the street has floor to ceiling windows.  A skylight from over the loft offices keeps even the remote corners lit on a sunny day.  All of it is to help all of the beautiful greenery that was everywhere in their office.  Georgi lovingly planted and maintained all of the plants that decorated and kept the office a pleasant place to stay in for long hours.  Everything from Chinese Evergreens to philodendrons to snake plants fell from beautiful hanging pots and coiled around the support beams.  There were small cacti on desks and cubicle walls and even a small palm tree in each of the two conference rooms.  

After Phichit’s disastrous night with Chris, he made sure to arrive early Monday morning, long before everyone else was due in.  The office was still dark, the sun just making itself known to the city.  Phichit had to turn on the lights as he made his way to his loft office.  Georgi would be arriving soon, and Phichit wanted to be busy in his office before the inevitable questions about his meeting with Chris came up.  Being alone for the whole weekend, Phichit had time to dwell on things and he was currently somewhere between horribly mortified and wishing to forget about anything happened.  He was fairly certain that it would be for the best if he didn’t try to work with Chris, much less date him.

More lights turned on and Phichit took his hamsters’ carrying case over to the massive cage against the wall separating his office from Yuuri’s dark server room.  Phichit cooed and smiled as his little friends settled into their favorite corners of the cage.

Next came some music.  His music collection was eclectic and his moods swayed wildly depending on his project or mood.  Phichit needed a soft and pleasant distraction so he flipped on some ambient tracks to work through his morning coffee and paperwork.  There were several things he had been putting off and now was a perfectly good time to wade through the boring parts of his job.  

He had moved on to building a calendar for one of his more important clients when the office came to life.  His friends were piling in and chatting amiably about their weekends.  The knock at his door was Yuuri, which Phichit was grateful for.  Slipping into the room, Yuuri shut the door behind him to allow them privacy.  He wouldn’t actively seek an audience, which easily put Phichit at ease.  

“What are you doing here so early?” Did something happen this weekend?”  Yuuri took the seat across from Phichit’s desk as he looked him over worriedly.

There was a chance that Phichit would be able to dance around the subject for a while until Yuuri decided that he had ignored the problem for too long or he guessed what it was on his own.  There wasn’t a doubt on Yuuri’s face however, he already knew the answer.  Nothing like being ratted out to your best friend by a potential date.

“I was just being me.”  Phichit ran a hand through his hair, trying to find an answer in his calendar.  There wasn’t a proper marketing technique to make him less intense though.  He would’ve done it 100 times over already if there was.  Looking up at Yuuri, Phichit pouted.  “He’s gorgeous.  I was completely blindsided. So thanks for that.”

Yuuri didn’t even have the decency to look sorry.  Jerk.

The silence just egged Phichit on.  “He’s beautiful.  He sings like a dream and we’re clearly compatible in bed.  He wants to be a musician and I’ve helped a lot of musicians build a following and grow their audience.  Except I can’t focus on anything but his beautiful green eyes, those incredible lashes, and the way the muscles move under his skin whenever he moves.  How do I even begin to look like a competent businessman like that?” 

Phichit whined in a mixture of embarrassment and frustration, dropping his head to his desk with a soft thud.  He wasn’t expecting Yuuri to have an answer.  After all, Yuuri’s common mode was uncertain and compulsively double checking everything up to the last minute.  The bubble of laughter was the exact opposite of what Phichit expected though and his head shot up in shock.  

Yuuri was trying to politely cover his snickers behind his hand, only to cough them down when he realized that Phichit was staring at him with his mouth hanging open.  “This sounds awfully familiar,” Yuuri explained quickly.  “I remember just a couple of years ago when I received that unexpected bouquet of flowers and Viktor asked me out for the first time.  I couldn’t believe it, I knew I was going to mess things up.  I had a terrible track record with dating since no one could seem to understand me, but you.  My best friend put on his favorite instrumental music and made me a pot of tea and told me what I was going to do.”

A warmth filled Phichit as he looked at Yuuri.  Things had been a horrible tangled mess in Yuuri’s head while he worried about those first few dates.  There had several trips to the spa or to get pedicures just to help Yuuri with the worst of his nerves.  Before Yuuri had even realized it, he was happy and comfortable being around Viktor.  Every bit of worry that he’d had vanished as he learned how unfounded they were.  

Yuuri got up and grabbed Phichit’s phone from the corner of the desk.  The little notification light flashed, but he had left it on silent while he worked.  A crazy itch hit him to look at the notifications just as FOMO threatened at the back of his mind.  Yuuri unlocked the phone, fiddling around for a moment.  He wasn’t going to find those pictures he was still holding onto of Yuuri at his best in college, drunk swinging on a pole.  Was he?

“Phichit, you told me that I needed to talk to him.  That text would be easiest for me, but I couldn’t hide behind it forever.  If I wanted what was being dangled in front of me like a carrot, I needed to make sure he saw me.  All of me.  All of the things I feared most in myself.  All of the things I was proud of.  I didn’t have to be perfect for him because if he had any sense in his head, I was more than enough.”

Yuuri slid the phone to Phichit.  The messaging app up and to his surprise, a brand new message from Chris waited for him.  

_ Good morning! I hope you had a good weekend. _

Chris messaged him.  Messaged him even after that ridiculous fit Phichit had over breakfast.  He couldn’t quite believe it, but it was there and his heart swelled with excitement and happiness.  It was okay, he really was worried about nothing.  Phichit let out an excited squeal, jumping up and rushing over to hug Yuuri tightly.  

“He messaged me!” 

Yuuri let out a choked laugh.  “Phi!  Phi, you’re choking me!”  

Phichit laughed and rushed back around his desk to his computer.  The music wasn’t enough for his excited mood.  He quickly changed it to some crazy bubblegum pop and danced around the office.  

“He messaged me!”

Yuuri stood up and happily joined Phichit in the dance.  It was contagious to be around Phichit’s sunshine smile and excitement.  He gave Phichit a quick spin, sending him towards the door.  It gained them both a bit of applause as everyone was gathered at the door, looking in.  

Georgi was the first to recover.  “Well, congratulations are certainly in order.  Drinks are on Phichit tonight everyone.”

Leo and Guang Hong quickly high fived, always happy to go out on someone else’s dime.  Viktor seemed torn between being happy for Phichit and jealous that he had been dancing with Yuuri.  He settled on the grown-up happy and gave Phichit a wink.  

“Now, can we possibly start our Monday meeting?” Georgi asked, ready to get straight to business.  He lifted his binder briefly and ushered everyone downstairs to the conference room for their weekly meeting.

“Thank you, Yuuri.”  Phichit snuck in one more hug before Yuuri joined his husband and the others for their meeting.  

Turning back to his desk, Phichit reached for his phone and thought for a moment.  This wasn’t going to be easy, but Yuuri was right.  Now was the time to lay it all out.  Texting wouldn’t be as hard because he didn’t have to look at him and get distracted while talking.  He could ask everything he wanted to know about Chris and they could talk on the phone.  They’d go on dates.  Maybe if he was lucky, he could have breakfast with Chris again.  

Determined and feeling much steadier than he had been in longer than he cared to dwell on, Phichit composed his answer.

_ Good morning to you, gorgeous.  It wasn’t the greatest weekend.  I was afraid I messed things up, but then you messaged me.  So right now it’s certainly a good morning.   _


	2. Tell Me Your Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all about learning what your options are and getting randomly begged to make a music video.

It still took them almost 20 minutes to corral everyone into the conference room and stop gossiping long enough for Georgi, their office manager, to take charge of the meeting.  It was usual for him to start with Viktor, the company accountant, and naturally, Viktor didn’t have any issues to discuss.  Luckily there hadn’t been any payment problems in over a year.  Everything was working out just the way it should and they were on schedule to have their paid company vacation that summer.  Phichit was especially proud of how well he had been able to make sure that happened.

Georgi moved to Yuuri next, most likely because he wasn’t very interesting.  Yuuri ran all of their company servers.  He handled all of their tech issues (“Did you turn it off and back on again?”) and was starting to create a few dummy phone apps so they could expand their services.  Today, the most interesting thing Yuuri had to note was that he finally removed the annoying laughing program that Phichit had accidentally installed on all of their computers.  (“It said it would make you happy.  I didn’t think it would be a terrifying clown!”)

They moved onto the actual business for the week at that point.  Guang Hong had a full calendar of social media and blog posts he’d been preparing over the past week.  They were ready to be shared or moved into their queue.  Phichit was quick to ask a few questions about where they were going with some clients and delighted that Guang Hong was already ahead of him with plans.  

“Okay, it’s my turn!” Leo suddenly changing the subject at the end of the discussion with an excited grin.  He was practically vibrating with his excitement.  “Please tell me you are going to start working with Chris.”

Phichit’s cheerful smile vanished almost instantly.  “Well, you see, I…” Why was Leo even this interested?  

“I think it’s a bit up in the air at the moment.”  Bless Yuuri.  He was only the truest of friends.  Phichit really wanted to hug him again.  Maybe cry a little about how amazing he was, too.  

“But, no!  You’ve gotta make this work.  I’ve got ideas!” Leo opened up a binder and started pulling out notes and storyboards and location photos.  

Guang Hong looked a little tired, pinching the bridge of his nose.  It had been likely that this was all he heard about all weekend long.  “Leo, you’re getting excited again.  Phichit just said that he didn’t know if this was even going to happen.”

“No, it’s got to work!” Leo handed Phichit a quick sketchy outline.  “I’ve got music and a potential duet partner to get him started.  Altin said that he would do all of the recordings because he has a few new songs that he’d really like to put down.

Looking over the notes, Phichit’s eyes widened.  “Wait, you’re kidding.  He said that you can actually get that punk dancer to perform in a video.  Leo, what in the world did you promise Altin?”

“Oh, well, um…” Leo chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.  It had to be huge, why else would he look so incredibly guilty.  “He wants me to do a video series of his instrumental pieces as a sort of anniversary gift.”

“So you’re going to work for free?” Of course, Viktor would point that out first.  Phichit couldn’t help but agree though.  They needed to do more paying work and fewer favors at this point.

“No freebies.  If we even do this, I’ll talk with him.  Chris is either going to hire us or Altin will have to pick a different anniversary gift.” Phichit put his foot down.  He pushed the papers back across the table to Leo.  “I’m glad you’re thinking ahead, but even if Chris was willing to become a client this is going to be a bigger project than we can ideally take on right now.”

“I’m still trying to convince Chris that it would be a better idea to invest in a newer phone.  He only just recently gave up his old flip phone.”  Yuuri actually pet his phone, stroking it almost as lovingly as he did Makka or Vicchan.  He wasn’t attached to his device as Phichit, but his passion for computers and technology was clearly twitching at the notion of someone just not understanding its true value.  

Phichit shook his head and sighed a bit in disappointment.  “Not taking advantage of the internet is seriously old-fashioned.  With everything at your disposal from YouTube and SoundCloud, to Patreon and Ko-fi.  I mean even long-time musicians are finding better luck with self-producing now.”

“So what if he does ask for us to help him?” Guang Hong asked.  They could discuss why this was going to be a massive undertaking for hours.  This was a more pressing question.  

Georgi pulled out a fresh sheet of paper.  “Guang Hong, this is actually a good time to update our beginners marketing blogs.  I’ll find you a few places that we can guest blog on this week and we’ll try to get this out there ASAP.”  He started taking notes quickly before making a suggestion.  “I’d recommend starting with Amanda Palmer’s TED Talk.”

“Her book is a fantastic read, too,” Leo chimed in.  

Guang Hong pulled out his own notepad and began taking notes.  “In a case like this, it’s good to find stories of artists that successfully built their brand without a corporate backstory.   Basquiat is always a classic and very influential artist.  More recently there are musicians like Macklemore and Ryan Lewis that openly discuss how and why they decided against going with a record company.”

The discussion went on as they all made suggestions for different writers, musicians, and artists that have all built their brand without corporate backing.  It was bordering on another hour-long discussion before Georgi cut in.

“We can keep at this, but we’re not going to get anything useful finished today.  So perhaps we’ll leave this for discussion when we’re all getting drinks this evening,” Georgi said, collecting his belongings and standing up.  

Everyone else began to do the same, and those that looked ready to start another conversation received Georgi’s firm but threatening stare.  Phichit let everyone else leave before stopping by their office mother.  He nudged him with his shoulder.  “You really handled that perfectly.  That’s exactly what we needed this morning.  Thanks.”

Georgi grinned and preened under the praise.  “Who else is going to corral all of you into actually doing something in this office for a change?”

They shared a happy laugh and returned to their own work.  

 

*

 

 **P** : So how has your day been?

 **C** : Finishing a double at the restaurant and I won’t be out until at least 2 am.

 **P** : Oh? Which restaurant?

 **C** : Why? Should I expect to see you in my section this evening?

 **P** : As tempting as that thought is, I’ve got some early morning meetings tomorrow and I have to finish going over my presentation.  

I’m wishing I had a few of your songs recorded so that I could play them while I worked.

 **C** : Recording time is unfortunately not easily come by.

 **P** : Well…

 **C** : Why do I feel like you’ve been scheming?

 **P** : Not really scheming, so much as listening to a friend try to convince me that he just needs to record one song and a music video.

 **C** : Just out of the blue?  That seems a little ridiculous.

 **P** : That’s what my business does.  Didn’t Yuuri tell you about our agency?

 **C** : He said you use social media to advertise.

 **P** : That encompasses a lot without really explaining anything.

GH is writing up some beginners guides to what we do.  I can send them to you if you’d like.  

 **C** : I’m not sure, P

 **P** : It’s okay.  I don’t want you to feel pressured.  I really just want us to focus on us, ya know?

 **C** : You sure know how to make a guy feel appreciated.  

I’ve got to get back.  I’ll message you tomorrow.  Good night, cutie.

 **P** : Be safe getting home.  Let me know you got in all right.

 

Chris pocketed his phone and ran a hand through his hair.  It was still a bit difficult to understand what was going on with him and Phichit.  It had only been a week and a half since they met and already they were messaging each other throughout the day and there were several hours long phone calls that kept them both up at night.  It was relaxed and very different from the intense first meeting.  Chris hadn’t expected this feeling of happiness to have formed.  To have someone seeking him out actively to talk about anything and everything.  

Phichit was younger than him, but he was still the one that seemed to have everything all together.  He had built himself a business that, while Chris couldn’t understand, was still impressive.  Phichit had a stable income and lived in a good neighborhood.  He didn’t have to pinch pennies or exchange work for things that he wanted.  Chris wanted to be jealous of him, but Phichit never seemed to act like he had everything.  There always seemed to be more important things just out of his reach.

Chris didn’t know if that was what really had made Phichit take so much interest in him.  It was his life’s work helping artists of all kinds make a living.  Phichit was quick to talk about anything but how he could help Chris become a successful musician though.  The little he did say was what he had just pointed out over text.  He would help direct him towards where he could learn.  Phichit really did want their relationship to be about them and not what they could do for each other.  Chris couldn’t help but feel incredibly wanted.  A little bit like there was a carrot dangling over his head but still desired for himself.

Chris understood that he was old fashioned and he also knew that his closest friends these last six years were all pretty much the same: they lived paycheck-to-paycheck with only their dreams pushing them along.  As the years went on, these people created a life that was very much like living inside of a bubble.  The community center was where they gathered, where they trade for things they needed that money just couldn’t always get them.  

You are who you associate with.  Yoga and dance were part of everything, whether it was being the dancer, the musician or providing the care and support.  There was a beautiful community garden that everyone worked in and enjoyed the bounty of.  They had their own yoga instructor that taught all of them (even if it was for only one day for some).  The leader of their community center had been born at Woodstock in the pouring rain and muddy fields.  

So Chris didn’t spend time on the computer or watching television.  He had a collection of books but didn’t often read anything new.  He wasn’t interested in learning about who the last American Idol was or why the debate of Superman vs Batman continued on to this day.  Political battles weren’t really in his mind.  He never had a reason to be pulled into that.

It felt like he was treading through dangerous waters.  There was so much there and for the first time, he was beginning to hear that it was potentially something he should have known about all along.  The internet could somehow help him do just what he wanted to do most, and that was sing.

That was something he had almost given up on.  He could perform at the bar once a week and the regulars enjoyed his singing well enough.  There was just something more that he wanted.  He wanted to reach out more and be able to sing something new.  Chris took a deep breath and schooled his features to that of the charming waiter once more.  He still had six hours to go and the rush would be starting shortly.  Time to go back inside.

Minako turned to him as he returned to the floor, a coy smile curling on her lips in that utterly devious manner she was so fond of.  Chris winced internally at the sight.  Minako was truly invested in her employees’ well being, but sometimes he wondered if she needed a hobby or a boyfriend to distract her for a while.  So much for the pleasant evening.

Not willing to avoid the matter longer than necessary, Chris went straight to the bar and gave Minako a flirtatious smile.  “And what, may I ask, has given you such a sparkle to your eyes?”

Minako chuckled and leaned over the bar.  She reached up and patted Chris’s cheek lightly for a moment.  “You’re going to take over for me for a bit.  You’ve got someone waiting for you.”

“Someone?”  It wasn’t uncommon for him to have potential suitors ask for him specifically.  Chris was reluctant to play at the dance while he was building the budding relationship with Phichit.  The chemistry between them was incredible.  Phichit might have the enthusiasm of a destructive puppy, but he also had a puppy’s sweetness and affectionate nature.  

“You’ll like this one, I think.”  Minako laughed as she glided out from behind the bar with a short wave.  There had to be someone that he could introduce her to.  Getting laid would definitely distract her from him for a while.  She should count herself lucky, that he was actually as fond of her as she was of him.  

Chris took his place behind the bar and stopped at the sink to wash his hands.  He wanted to get a look at whoever asked for him.  He saw the shaggy brown hair and the boy next door smile.  When it was apparent that he didn’t even notice that he was being sized up, Chris decided that had to mean that he was one of those charmingly sweet, but clearly oblivious boys.  Not at all the sort to purposely seek him out.  Maybe he’d lost some kind of truth or dare with his little choir boy friends?

“Good evening, I’m sorry that I kept you waiting.  I see you have a drink already, can I get you anything to eat?”  Chris settled on a soft smile.  He didn’t know what was going on, but it was clearly not at all what he expected.

“Oh, hey, yeah, sorry.  Minako has great taste in music.  I was just listening a bit.” The boy (could you call anyone so sweet anything, but?) smiled at him happily.  “I appreciate you talking to me.  I heard you sing and I really love it.  You’re really inspiring.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.  I sing in so many places, so I don’t recognize you.  Have we met before?” Chris tilted his head to the side.  This was starting to sound unusually familiar.

“Well, no, but you know my friends, and I know I’m being really forward, but I had to talk to you.  I’m a videographer.  I shoot a lot of local arts, musicians, and performers.  I heard you sing and I know I could make you a great video if you’d let me.”  The boy pulled out his phone quickly and after a moment of shifting through apps had a video playing for him.  

It was a bit of a bubblegum pop kind of song with a peppy blonde girl singing and dancing along.  The video had a kind of story which was what it made it interesting.  It played a minute and a half through when he started to speak over it.  He was radiating with an excited energy and what seemed to be considerable pride.

“Over 1 million views in the last six months.  It’s pretty impressive for us, but we’re really starting to make a name for ourselves.  It took me three days to get all of it put together, but with Altin’s music and Minako offering some choreography advice I knew we’d get there.”  

Chris put up a hand to stop him before he could bubble along for much longer.  “Hold on just a second.  You’re talking about making a music video for me, but you forgot the important part.  Who are you?”

The boy paled for a moment and started to mutter softly in what Chris assumed was Spanish.  The shock was replaced quickly with the red of embarrassment and he ran a hand through his hair nervously.  “Sorry.  Ji is always telling me that I need to think these things through better.  I’m always so quick to get to the good part.  I’m really sorry.”  He took a deep breath and held out a hand to Chris.  “My name is Leo de la Iglesia.  I’m a videographer with Chulanont Agency.  I heard that you want to be a musician, but you’re having trouble getting a record deal.  If you’re interested, I would really like to help you.”

Chris chuckled and shook Leo’s hand.  “Does your boss know you’re here?”

“Not exactly.  He might have told me that I should stay away.”  Leo turned off the video and put a folder on the bar.  “I know I shouldn’t have come here, but I really think that we could work together well.  I haven’t really made a video for me in a while now.  I can do work for clients all of the time, but I don’t film for me anymore.  I put together some notes for you to explain what we can do, along with an outline for a video that I’ve been putting together in my head.  Would you at least look it over?”

“What is with all of these pushy young men suddenly interested in my singing?” Chris put his hand on the folder.  If Yuuri was to be believed, there was a way that he could just sing what he loved and he could finally get out of the rut he’d been in these last couple of years.  He wasn’t getting anywhere.  They stopped sending the rejection letters all together at this point.  The coffee houses and bars were getting less and less interested in him singing the same stuff over and over again.

Chris looked at the folder for a moment.  Did he trust Yuuri’s judgment?  That seemed to be a silly question.  He was rather fond of the programmer with the extra husband.  He looked up at Leo and nodded.  “I’ll look it over.  It’s a pretty big honor to be someone else’s inspiration.  I hope I can live up to it for you.”

Leo leaped up from his chair with a whoop and a fist in the air.  “You won’t regret this.  I promise!  Oh, and here’s one more thing.”  He pulled out an invitation, handing it over with a grin.  “This one is a little bit of work and pleasure.  Sara’s having an art gallery opening and this will get you in.  You can see Phichit in his element and see what we do.”

“He definitely doesn’t know about this.” Chris was starting to understand what they could see in this enthusiastic young man.  Leo was infectious and his attempts at being a matchmaker were actually kind of cute.  “Thank you, Leo.  I think we’re going to have a lot of fun doing this.”

 

*

 

Sara’s latest gallery opening was one of the last major events they planned to do for her.  Guang Hong spent the past week prepping all of her copy for Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram so that she could focus all of her attention on last-minute painting and meetings with the gallery.  Leo scheduled all of her videos for YouTube to advertise as well as show off the opening night.  He had a freelance cameraman making a few laps for them so that he would be able to add footage of the event the next day.  

Phichit was so excited to have been part of this wild ride.  Sara had just been an acquaintance when they first met, a friend of a friend sort of thing.  Now, he couldn’t imagine not sending her ridiculous cat memes and helping her pick out the right outfit for her next date with Mila.  He was so proud of everything that she’d been able to accomplish.  He slipped through the crowds to find her, finally spotting her with a group of enthusiastic fans all gushing over their favorites in the gallery.  

“Thank you for having such an open event.  I’ve really wanted to be able to come to an opening like this, but so many artists have such tight restrictions on their invitations,” one of the girls said.

“You guys are my patrons.  Without you, I never would have been able to paint as much as all of this.  I’m so grateful and I’m so happy to be able to share this with you.  Thank you for coming.” She quickly pulled all of them into tight hugs.

“Pardon me, ladies.  Do you think I could borrow the artist for a moment?” Phichit asked, putting his arm around one of Sara’s.

“You’re Phichit Chulanont, right?  Your blog saved my butt so much in college.  Thank you for sharing all of that!” another fan said.

“Always glad to help.”  Phichit gave them all a charming smile, listening to them talk for a few moments more before pulling Sara aside.  “That’s the part I can’t handle.  The gushing, you have to be some kind of saint.  I just want to hit them for being so pandering.”

Sara laughed and slapped his arm.  “You’re such a jerk.  You eat that stuff up just as much as I do.”

“I do not watch my notifications whenever I post a picture of my dinner.”  Phichit gasped dramatically, looking wounded by such a terrible thing for her to say.  He couldn’t hold onto it for very long and he was laughing like a fool right along with her.

They headed towards his team and they were quickly given a pair of champagne glasses.  “Alright guys, I just wanted to say that I’m so very proud of all of you.  Sara was one of our very first clients and it’s been amazing getting us all here to this point.  Not only is this a huge success for Sara and her incredible art future, but it’s a big night for us.  You’ve helped make Chulanont Agency into the respected business it is today.  We’ve got clients waiting for us to help them build their brands and I know that this is just the beginning for us.  I am so very lucky to be able to do this with my best friends.  So let’s toast to Sara and to our future.”

Everyone smiled happily and they cheered as they all tapped glasses.  It was a warm feeling seeing them all together exchanging congratulations all around with hugs and handshakes.  Yuuri latched onto his side and Phichit could see a similar thought in his eyes.  They both couldn’t begin to express how important this family was to them, but they didn’t need to.  Phichit understood Yuuri just as much as Yuuri understood him.  He couldn’t have been in a better place.

 

*

 

Walking into the gallery, Chris was surprised by the variety of people milling around the gallery.  He was able to spot several of the more stereotypical art buyers and artists looking around.  Those few were in the minority, however.  There were so many different kinds of people looking around.  He thought he spotted several young high school students huddled in a corner, sketching and making notes.  A trio of college students walked around with nearly squealing excitement.  They were dressed in what looked to be an explosion from a thrift store in a rainbow of colors.  An elderly couple stopped them smiling in their simple formal wear to discuss their fashion and began a discussion about how the young man in the group had hand dyed several pieces in each of their outfits.  

The gallery was alive with excitement and passion from every corner.  Chris found all of that paled in comparison to the art.  He began to understand clearly what it was that created such a passion.  There was an incredible variety of paintings, all seemingly focused on the same woman.  Each painting featured something mundane, the woman going about her daily life.  However, each painting somehow turned all of that on its head.  In a painting of the woman chopping vegetables for her meal, there were fairies springing up all around her.  The kitchen had growing vines sliding the next vegetable closer and the pot so that she could begin cook.  

One piece featured the woman hanging laundry, only for her to not be properly outside, but underwater.  A few bubbles floated around her, but the sealife was incredible.  Curious little fish peeking out from under clothing.  A large octopus wrapped itself around the pole the clothing line hung from.  Each detail was vibrant and lively and the woman’s bright red hair framed a happy smiling face.

“That one’s my favorite.”  Chris jumped back, realizing he’d been leaning in closely to see more of the details on the scales of the fish.  His shock didn’t end there, as he turned his gaze to the bright red hair of the woman in the paintings.  

“You’re…” Clearly, he was feeling articulate this evening, but it made her laugh.  Chris shook his head.  “You must be hearing that a lot tonight.”

“Not as much as you’re implying, but a lot of the people here knew I was in the paintings before they arrived,” the woman said.  She held out a hand.  “I’m Mila, by the way.”

“Chris,” Chris replied, accepting her hand.  He gave her a gallant smile before attempting to kiss her hand.  She snatched it away quickly.

“Oh no you don’t.”  Mila laughed, her head falling back with joy rather than the annoyance that Chris suddenly expected.  “I may look pretty in those pictures, but I’m the prince of my fairytale.”

It wasn’t that hard to join in on her laughter, chuckling lightly.  “Well, forgive me for my assumption.  It’s not very often that I don’t find a way to dazzle a lady.”

“I’m sure you’ve got many of them wrapped around your finger, too.”  Mila patted Chris’s shoulder.  “I noticed that you are almost the only one here alone, so I thought I’d say hello and see what brings you.  Sara would have, but she’s a bit busy talking with a rather large potential client.”

“Ah, well, it’s a bit of a strange long story.  I was given an invitation by someone that wants to work with me.  He said I should see how things work now,” Chris said with a small shrug.  He wasn’t really sure how to describe how this was supposed to help, but he certainly could see that there was an incredible talent here.  Getting the chance to see it up close like this was more than worth it, even if he didn’t learn anything from the trip.

A grin hit Mila’s face at that description.  It was a little bit like looking at Minako and he was more than certain that he had somehow managed to move into the strange circle of friends that surrounded Phichit.  He had no idea how this world managed to get so small.  

“So this someone does video, right?” Mila asked.  She looked at him for a moment before latching onto his arm.  She was a bit shorter, so perhaps it was the easiest way for her to hold onto him.  “Well, allow me to give you the tour of what you actually are looking for.”

Mila dragged him across the room without giving him a chance to respond.  Despite her dangerous grin, she couldn’t possibly get him into that much trouble in an art gallery.  He was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.  

“Hey, guys!” Mila headed for a group of college-aged people, who all looked excited to see her.  They shared a few greetings before Mila cut in to introduce Chris.  “Guys, this is Chris.  He’s a musician, too, but he has no idea how you and I work together.  I thought you’d like a chance to give him your version of the story.”

“Chris? It’s really great to meet you.” The man closest to him offered him a handshake and quickly introduced himself as Daniel and his friends; Erica, Bobby, Vanessa, and Lauren.  “I think Mila’s a little loose with the term work together, but basically we’re part of her community online.  We’re all patrons of her and Sara.  Sara has a monthly set up where every month we give a small amount of money and she can keep doing what she loves.  In return, she gives us exclusive access to her artwork in progress, live chats, and video tutorials.  Vanessa has been following Sara since the beginning and she’s built her skills with Sara’s help.  It’s helped her to set up her own community and she’s got her own patrons now.”

Vanessa blushed but smiled at her friends.  “It’s been crazy, but I could never have dreamed that I could really do this without being part of Sara’s community first.”

The friends were quick to add their agreements and reassurance.  Lauren put her arm around Vanessa, giving her a squeeze.  “There were always stories in classic literature about the wealthy man or woman taking artists under their wing, usually in exchange for sex.  So when you hear about this, it totally seems weird, but it’s not about us giving her money to draw or paint or whatever.  It’s about being a part of something beautiful.  My $5 a month is tiny, but it went towards the paint that Sara used to paint something in this room.  Or it helped her to pay her rent that month so that she didn’t need to take another job.  I feel good about supporting someone that’s a small business and I’m more than happy to be able to get the little gifts and whatnot she’s willing to give us.”

Chris looked over at Mila in surprise.  “I didn’t know that you could do all of that.  Mostly I didn’t know that anyone would want to do that.”

Erica scoffed.  “It’s been hard for musicians to get themselves out there.  Record companies are snobs and they’re only interested in pop music.  Not to mention how little you actually get from the record company.  They act like they do all of the work, but the musicians who make the music are expected to give a lot of money back to the record companies to pay back the ‘loan’ they gave them to start making an album.  It’s ridiculous.”

“Loans?  I can barely handle my own bills, adding paying back a record company…” Chris frowned.  “Why can’t anyone just do it without them?”

“They do, silly boy,” Mila said.  “I’m a singer and I’ve done exactly what Sara did only for music.”

“It’s so cool.” Vanessa was nearly bouncing with her excitement.  “Every time she finishes a new song or a new music video, we give her a little bit to help pay for it.  We get free digital copies of her music and she talks about us in the credits of her videos.  Seriously, it’s so cool.  Mila makes it about all of us when she does stuff.  There are always polls about what she should do next.  She’s been vlogging most of the work she’s been doing with Sara to set up the show.  They really make the best team.”

Mila patted Chris’s arm.  “You see, these guys pay me and it sounds like a transaction, but really, they’re my partners and friends.  We’re in this crazy experiment together.  I’m happy to have the chance to get to know some of the people that really appreciate me and what I do.  If I didn’t have this connection with people, I’m pretty sure I would have given up a long time ago.  It really is inspiring to have you guys there with me the whole way.”

Bobby was standing closest to Mila and he gave her a quick hug.  “We feel the same way.  Your music has been with me through all of the ups and downs of my life.  Knowing we aren’t alone in everything makes it all feel so much better.”

“Are you an artist or a musician, too?” Chris was growing more intrigued by the group by the second.  

“No, but I really like being able to support people.  I’ve got about half a dozen people that I follow and support.  Not all of them are the same, and some are more involved than others.”  He glanced briefly at his friends.  Bobby seemed the quiet type, but his passion about this was clearly more than enough to break him from his shell.  “Are you trying to build a community, too?  I could be your first patron.”

How did you not get affected by that?  Chris hugged Bobby without even thinking.  It wasn’t even like him to be affectionate with anyone but a boyfriend, and here he was hugging a stranger for offering the one thing he’d wanted for years.  He pulled away, looking down at him.  “You guys are incredible.  I am going to do this.  I don’t know what I need to do exactly, but I would be so incredibly honored to do this with you.”

“I’m so excited!  You guys would not believe how lucky he is.  Leo said he wanted to do a video with him, and he got DJ Beka to do the music arrangement.” Mila cut in, looking like she was telling them the greatest secret ever.  

Chris had read through the notes Leo gave him several times and most of the names meant nothing to him.  However, the look on these fans’ faces told him much more than those notes could.  

“Oh my gosh!  Congratulations!  Please, please, please tell me Yuri is going to dance.  He’s absolutely incredible.  He does anything that DJ Beka composes.” Vanessa was practically shaking from her excitement.

The others were quick to join in with congratulations and Chris looked to Mila.  “Well, since you guys will be my first fans, I suppose I can share a little with you.”

Mila nodded and winked at Chris.  This really was the start of something incredible.  

 

*

 

Phichit finished speaking with a few professors from Pratt Institute who were hoping to have to do a series of lectures about branding and building a community around their students work.  It was such an exciting idea and he really wanted to be able to do this more often.  It could really give his business a new direction and go hand in hand with their current work.  

With an excited grin and plans forming in his head, Phichit headed back to find Sara.  The evening was winding down and it was probably time for him to head out.  There wasn’t really anyone left for him to do, so he was going to say his goodbyes.  He spotted her just as she was finishing up, which was absolutely perfect.  

“I think it’s time for me to head home.  I’m so crazy proud of you.  You’re still going to call me for our weekly lunch, right?” Phichit gave Sara another big hug, making her laugh.

“You know I wouldn’t miss it for the world.  Would you believe I have another three more shows booked now?” Sara shook her head and took a deep breath.  It was clear to Phichit that this was going to be a big change, but one that she couldn’t wait for.  “P, I really am so grateful to you for helping me out with all of this.  I’m so proud of everything I’ve been able to do and I just know I’m going to be happy with myself and my work for a really long time.”

“I know you will.  Congratulations again.” Phichit gave Sara one last hug.  “You know, I haven’t seen Mila?  For being the star of this show, I thought I wouldn’t see her that far from you all night long.  What in the world is she up to?”

“Mila?” Sara giggled, her eyes shining with what might have been more than just mischief.  It wasn’t uncommon for Mila to create such a reaction.  “You should check in the back.  She found someone interesting to talk to and she’s been in deep discussion with a few of our fans.”

“All right.  I think I’ll head back there to say goodbye.” Phichit was about to turn to do that when Sara latched onto his arm.  

“I want to come, too.  You’re the best escort.” Sara batted her eyelashes and Phichit knew that this was going to be trouble.  

As they headed to the back of the gallery, he could hear Mila singing.  The event was almost over so there weren’t going to be any of the more stiff guests that would be bothered by the impromptu concert going on.  Mila’s voice was strong and she could easily give a soulful rendition of old R&B classics to the happy pop of today to even the drama of musicals.  She loved singing covers but had released her second solo album just a few months ago with music she had written about her life.

Just as the catch of the chorus came in a second voice chimed in and Phichit immediately froze.  That was Chris’s absolutely incredible voice and Phichit wasn’t sure what he was going to do.  They had been talking daily, almost all day long since they had hooked up, but they hadn’t seen each other.  Phichit looked down at Sara feeling an almost panic.

“Oh my god, do I look okay? Sara, did you know? Oh no, oh no.” Phichit was still far enough away that they couldn’t see each other, so he still had a moment.  Or at least he hoped that he did.

Sara patted Phichit’s arm.  “You’re being ridiculous.  Yuuri told me the whole story this evening and you can totally handle this.  You don’t need to be so worried.”

“I was so ridiculous the first time we met, Sara.  I don’t want to lock up again, but he’s so incredibly gorgeous.” Phichit ran a hand through his hair.  

Sara came up in front of him and grabbed him by the face.  It was a bit rough and she pinched his cheeks in.  “Breathe right now and forget about what happened the first time.  You’ve been talking to him and you’re really happy about that, right?”  Phichit nodded.  “Then you’ve got this.  You can still think he’s gorgeous and have a conversation.  Plus, he’s got an audience.  You love to play to an audience.”

An audience.  Oh, that’s right.  Mila was with fans, so Chris was there with her.  How did the two of them meet?  What were they even discussing?  So many questions, but suddenly the pressure was gone.  He was fascinated by everything that he learned from Chris whether it be about him or anything he was interested in.  That was one thing that didn’t seem to make him nervous.  

Though fans could mean any number of things.  Fans liked to be close.  A flash of steel hit his eyes.  Well, Phichit was going to make sure that the audience got the right impression of things.  Sara let him go and Phichit straightened his vest and his tie.  She nodded approvingly and they finished heading to the crowd, just as the song ended.  

“Sara’s back guys.  And she brought our favorite guy with her.” Mila rushed over to kiss Sara’s cheek and pulled her over to their small circle.  Several more people had joined the crowd including a rather guilty looking Leo who was trying to hide behind the shorter, Guang Hong.  That explained how Chris even knew about the gallery opening.  

Phichit slid into the group beside Chris, who was smiling brighter than Phichit had seen before.  It was enough to dazzle him for a moment before Mila began to introduce him to the group.  “Guys, this is Phichit Chulanont.  He’s been a good friend of ours for years and we’re very happy to say that we wouldn’t be where we are now without him.”

Vanessa reached over to shake Phichit’s hand.  “You wrote the Only Grocery List a College Student needs.  I swear, I would have died by now without that.  You’re amazing!”

“Thanks.  Believe me, it was a lifesaver for me, too.  I wasn’t going to last on cafeteria food my whole time in college.  I don’t even understand how anyone can.” Phichit smiled and happily accepted the handshake before sliding back a bit closer to Chris.  A hand slipped around his waist and a wild thrill ran through him.  He had to have been grinning madly.  He wanted to grin madly.  This gorgeous man was claiming him in front of these new people with a wide hand splayed across his hip.  

A brief whispered conversation between the friends confirmed that it was seen and clearly understood.  Phichit just shifted more into Chris, who was focusing his attention on Sara and Mila who were debating what song they should sing next.  Not that it mattered, so long as Chris didn’t let go.

 

*

 

The farewells needed to be said again, but at least this time Phichit didn’t need to give another speech.  He did have to promise a full disclosure discussion during his next lunch date with Sara, but that didn’t bother him in the least.  Chris stayed with him and they stopped outside, looking at their hands holding tightly to one another.  

“I didn’t know you would be here.” Phichit was still undecided about how he was going to get Leo for this.

“Didn’t think you were supposed to.” Chris chuckled.  He looked so different now from how he did at the bar.  It was incredible.  Distracting, but Phichit was determined to remain focused.  

“Will you tell me about it?” Please say yes.  Please say yes.

“Can you make breakfast this time?”

He said yes!


	3. Nobody Said It Was Easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris finally goes to the recording studio and Phichit hatches a new scheme.

Chris got his first taste of what it really meant to have what he wanted right there in front of him.  His dreams of being a musician had started to fade in the recent years.  It was hard to keep the dream alive by just playing in dive bars for tips and $100.  He wanted to see someone truly excited for him to sing and play.  He had seen that spark in Phichit and it just continued to grow.  

At the gallery opening, Chris had exchanged numbers with several of his new friends.  They all joked about how Chris’s phone was clearly as good as a paperweight with it’s limited memory and lack of a proper camera.  Bobby, however, took pity on him and offered to help him get a new phone and explain the basics of setting up what he would need to start sharing his music.  Chris featured Bobby in the first selfie he put on Instagram.  

Not willing to accept the help without being able to give something back, Chris brought Bobby to the community center and brought him to his first yoga class.  Bobby was terrible, but Chris promised that if he wanted to try then he would always have a friend to go to the classes with.  For his very first fan, Chris was incredibly proud of what he had started and he was always going to be there for Bobby.

Leo was chomping at the bit to get started on the music video.  He had originally been trying to decide between three songs, but after their discussion with everyone at the gallery opening, they settled on The Scientist by Coldplay. Chris was introduced to Otabek Altin or DJ Beka as his fans were fond of calling him.  He did, in fact, do quite a bit of mixing at several of the local clubs and had a unique following online.  A lot of it had to do with his great taste in music and his ability to recreate classic songs into something new and incredible.  He was already working on a new mix for their video.

“It’s good to properly meet you.  They’ve only been able to play me a cellphone recording of you and that’s not normally enough to make me interested.” Otabek gave Leo a sharp look and Chris wondered what the nervously chuckling man could have possibly done to convince Otabek to do this.

“I told you that was all that I had.” Leo was quick to try to defend himself.  It didn’t seem to really be enough to get him very far though.

“Perhaps we can see if this is going to work before we go any further.  I don’t keep sheet music of my work, but you should have had time to learn the music.” Otabek led the way into his studio.  Chris couldn’t help but be a little impressed to head into the small private studio.  There wasn’t a great deal of room, but clearly it was enough.  There was a mixing board facing a small closet sized recording room.  He mustn’t work with many musicians at the studio, but a simple singer or a guitarist would have no trouble recording in the small box.  

Otabek pointed to the room and Chris nodded.  This was nothing at all like what he had seen in the movies and on television as a kid, but it was still there.  He felt the rush of this moment catching up to him.  He was going to record in a respected music producers’ private studio.  He was going to record period.  This was what he had wanted for as long as he could remember.  Chris sat down on the stool waiting for him and slid on the headphones.  The mic in front of him was waiting eagerly for him to finally have his moment.  

“We’re going to run through this once for me to record you so I can complete the reworking of the song.  I need to match your style or this isn’t going to work.  I’ve got a partial remix done based on Leo’s working outline and the choreography that Yuri is working on.” Otabek was clear and to the point.  It helped to ground Chris a bit as the flutter of nerves and excitement warred in him.  Chris nodded and gave a quick thumbs up to show that he was ready to get started.  

The song was one that Chris was already familiar with, but this version was clearly going to be new.  Otabek gave a brief warning that he extended the opening and to wait for his cue to start.  The music went on a bit slowly, dragging out for a moment to go with the opening that Leo was trying to create.  It had a slightly jerky start and Chris faltered for a moment as he tried to keep up with the sudden change.  

The Scientist was such a classic song and it was already beautiful, but the new arrangement was starting to sound incredible already.  Otabek either had really good connections or there was way more that could be done electronically that Chris still had to learn about, but the whole song had a unique classical feel with a violin quartet over a heavy drum.  It was setting a stage for Leo’s vision in a way that Chris could see so much clearer than he had expected to.  

The song came to an end and Otabek held up a hand.  “That was good.  We’re going to need to make a lot of changes.  Come out now.”

It was difficult to decide if that was good or bad.  Chris put down the headphones and stepped out, looking to Leo to see if he knew what all of this meant.  Leo wasn’t looking, as he was making a long list of notes.  Otabek was making a few adjustments on his computer as Chris came around to them.  

“You two are far too quiet.  Was it that bad?” Chris needed someone to speak to him soon or he was going to get a bit worried.

“Leo is going to be at that for a while.  I’ll have a final version of the song within the next two weeks.  Yuri will be going over everything for the choreography meanwhile.”  Otabek finished his adjustments and turned to Chris.  “I might not have been able to tell with just that poor recording, but I think this is going to work surprisingly well.  It’s going to be a pleasure working with you Chris.”

That was a huge relief and Chris nodded.  “Believe me, the pleasure is all mine.  I’ve been wanting this for so long and I didn’t know that there was another way to do this.  You both are giving me an amazing opportunity.  So thank you.”

“I need some extra vocals for a few tracks I’m working on.  Can you stay for the afternoon?” Otabek was clearly all business and straight to the point.  Chris could certainly appreciate that.  

“I put aside this whole day for working on this.  So as long as Leo doesn’t need anything else, I’d be more than happy to.” 

Otabek didn’t even ask Leo, who looked so absorbed in his work.  He just changed the music on his computer and started to explain what he needed Chris to sing for him.

 

*

 

Phichit was floating on cloud nine.  It had been officially three weeks, two days, 16 hours and 10 minutes since he had seen Chris for the first time and Phichit was happier than he had ever guessed he could be.  They talked on the phone at least once every day and spent the rest texting each other.  He could talk about anything with Chris.  There were no subjects that they didn’t share notes on or get into a heated debate about.  (Chris only saw white and gold the traitor.  No matter how many times Phichit said it was black and blue.)  They discussed music preferences and Phichit managed to sneakily record Chris singing him to sleep one night.  

Every day was something to look forward to.  Even if he was still alone in his apartment, the sound of Chris’s voice made it all just a little bit more bearable.  

The hardest part was keeping his promise.  He wasn’t going to make their relationship about Chris’s singing.  He was anxious for Chris to promote himself and start recording more, but Chris didn’t seem eager to rush.  It might have been Phichit’s imagination, but he almost thought that Chris was more interested in him than pursuing a music career.  He didn’t know how real it was and he really didn’t know how to find out without being creepy and demanding.

When it got hard not to dwell on personal questions that he couldn’t answer, Phichit gave himself new projects.  This time, he had been asked to give a speech at the Pratt Institute about how artists could build a community for their work and begin to market themselves without needing agents and other individuals to do it for them.  With the recent blog posts and the short interview that Guang Hong did on the subject, Phichit put together a complete presentation and was already planning ahead to what he could do to expand the lecture further.

Lunchtime meetings were one of Phichit’s favorite ways to brainstorm new projects.  Food and conversation just went so well together.  This one needed a tiny bit of luck so he hoped the extra fancy meal would also help to cushion what he wanted to propose to Guang Hong.  This was going to be a big game changer for their business.  With a comforting plate of his favorite vegetarian Thai food, Phichit happily tucked away the good food for a moment.  Guang Hong was across from his with an equally pleased look on his face.  

“You’ve got that look in your eyes, Phichit.  Do you just want to tell me what this is all about?”  Guang Hong grinned at him, leaning his cheek against his fist. 

“I’ve got this really tight deadline and I need your help with this, Ji.”  Phichit paused for another bite.  It wasn’t what his Mama made, but it was still so good.  “I have that lecture coming up next week at Pratt.  You’ve been building up a lot of notice for us, with all of the instructional marketing blog posts you’ve written.  I really want to build on that.  I think we can turn all of that into 2 four-week courses.  One that will train creators to do the work themselves and one to train VAs that will be working with creators.”

Guang Hong leaned forward with a stern look.  He always narrowed in immediately on the most important details.  A brow arched up slowly, and Phichit immediately pulled back and down.  That was not the look he was hoping for.  “How short of a deadline?”

“The first class would be in about a month.”

“Seriously Phichit?” Guang Hong face was getting a little pink and he slammed a hand on the table.  “You never take me anywhere nice unless you have bad news.  Do you realize that I have deadlines, too?  To do this I have to pretty much stop everything that I’m doing!”

“It’s going to be rough, but you’ve got so much of the lessons already written.  It’s just a matter of editing it and transferring it to a presentation.”  Phichit was trying to be optimistic, but he had already planned to spend much of the next three weeks spending long hours at the office.  “I’ve got a timeline drafted out and I’ve started piecing together how to fit your blog posts together.  I just need your help with the copy and keeping me in line.”

It didn't matter that he was trying to take on as much of the work as he could, it was a daunting task no matter how he looked at it.  Georgi would be needed to fill in holes for them.  Phichit was planning on asking Yuuri to help with building the actual presentation so that they could focus on writing and preparing the documents for the students.  

Guang Hong tugged on his hair a moment with a frustrated groan.  “I’m overdue on the next part of my story with everything extra you already had me do these last two months, Phi.  I’ve got patrons that aren’t going to stick around for my work forever.”

The ongoing story series was Guang Hong’s baby.  A long episodic series of a dystopian future had been updated every month or every other month for the last three years.  He had a fair sized following and Sara was his biggest fan.  She would excitedly tweet reading the chapters as soon as they were released.  She did a series of paintings about it last year as a Christmas present for Guang Hong.  Now it was overdue for a new episode and Phichit was suggesting that he extend his delay even longer.

“I promise you, that if you give me this time I’ll give you two weeks with pay.”  Phichit pressed his hands together under his chin, pleading with eyes, body language and a tiny bit of a whine in his voice.  “I’ll do whatever you ask me to for your next six updates to help you get a bit more coverage.  I’ll even buy you ad space and pay Leo to make the video.”

Guang Hong’s lip curled distastefully for a moment before sighing.  “What happened to no more free work?”

“This isn’t free work.  I really think that this could be a good direction for us to go in.  This could take us to a whole new level.  Working with individual clients has been amazing and I don’t think we should stop anytime soon, but this is a chance for us to be able to reach more people.  We have an opportunity to change how people think about arts and how accessible it is.”  Phichit was more than a little excited.  Perhaps he had spent too much time talking with the teachers at Pratt, who had planted the idea in his head in the first place.  Maybe he was just a little hopeful that he could really be able to reach more people that needed the help.  That wanted to be able to take that step and have more than they ever dreamed.

“Ji, shifting focus to teaching can actually become something we don’t have to do much to.  We can turn this into a more passive income and that means more free time.  More free time means you can finally get the first season of your book self-published.”  Okay, maybe he was pushing this a little bit more than need be, but he’d done his homework before he brought all of this to Guang Hong.  He knew this was the right direction for them.

Guang Hong slumped his shoulders and seemed to resign himself to his fate.  Phichit jumped up before he could say anything and quickly hugged him.  “You won’t regret this.  We won’t regret this, I promise!”

 

*

 

Phichit and Yuuri walked arm in arm with matching grins on their faces.  After the last few days of stressful last minute touches for the lectures happened the next day, they were more than ready to escape for a while.  Phichit snuck them out of the office early and took them out for a late lunch and some window shopping through their favorite stores.  

Stopping at a thrift store, Phichit started looking through the racks and finding some of the most ridiculous articles of clothing that he could find.  It was a competition as they looked for something worse than the other could find.  That day, Phichit was still claiming victory over Yuuri.  He had found an adorable (albeit ridiculous) set of adult-sized cow print footie pajamas.  All Yuuri had was a leopard print jumpsuit with a tiger embroidered down one leg.

“Phi, I’ve got something really important to ask you.”  Phichit turned to Yuuri, not expecting him to be so serious all of a sudden.  Yuuri fussed with the clothing in front of him for a few moments before looking at Phichit properly.  “Viktor and I, we got approved for a surrogate.  In less than a year, we’re really going to be dads.”

They had been waiting for months to get everything finalized.  Yuuri and Viktor had wanted to be able to build a complete family for themselves.  Their dogs were wonderful, but they were the sort that had so much love to give.  Phichit flung himself at his friend, hugging him tightly.  “Yuuri!  That’s amazing!  I can’t believe it!  I’m so happy for you guys.”  

Yuuri laughed a little and hugged Phichit back for a moment.  He pulled back to look him in the eye.  “This is important, Phi.  I wasn’t finished.  We really were hoping that you’d consider being the baby’s godfather.”

“Consider? Yuuri, I’m insulted.  You think I would say no?”  Phichit laughed and waved his hand dismissively.  “I’m going to spoil your kid rotten.”

Yuuri pulled away and went back to the rack of clothing.  “It’s just...well, I know kids aren’t exactly your kind of thing.”

Phichit nudged him with his shoulder and grinned.  “Kids are adorable.  Your kid is definitely going to be adorable.”

“You can barely stand to be around them for five minutes.  What about the time at the diner when the kid wouldn’t stop screaming and instead of talking to the manager, you told the kid that no one loved them, they should get over themselves and stop screaming?” Yuuri asked, running a hand through his hair.  

“I was having a really bad day.  I was called in for jury duty and my sink exploded and I had to call a plumber…”

“What about the time at the grocery when that little kid asked you why you have coal for eyes?”

“Who tells someone that though?”

“You told the kid that his bedside manner was going to ensure that he never kept a friend and even his stuffed dog was going to leave him alone because he was a monster!”

“Well, someone needed to tell him that he was rude.”

“Or the time you sympathy vomited because you saw the infant being sick at the park after he ate.”

“How do you not feel sick seeing that white...stuff coming out of a baby?” 

Yuuri sighed and looked at Phichit with a frown.  “Kids are stressful, destructive, loud, and gross all of the time.  The biggest problem is that you and I are going to have to change.  All of the fun we have together isn’t going to be okay anymore.  Those weekly nights at the bar are done for.  I’m going to be tired and cranky every day, not just every morning.  No more midnight phone calls to talk about the episode of Gilmore Girls that you just rewatched for the 50th time.” 

What in the world was Yuuri trying to get at?  “Are you looking for an excuse not to do this or something, Yuuri?”

Yuuri stopped pretending to dig through the clothes and turned to Phichit once again.  “Definitely not.  This is really important to me.  You and I have always had fun and done ridiculous things whenever we want.  I won’t be able to do random trips like this one.  For a long time, everything I do is going to be about that kid.  I want you to be a part of our child’s life.  I want you to want to be a part of this.”

“I do want that though.  I’ll always want to be a part of your life,” Phichit insisted.  What was so hard to believe about that?  He reached out and took Yuuri by the shoulders.  “You’re my family already, you’re just making it bigger.”

Yuuri put a hand on Phichit’s and looked at him for a long moment.  “Just think about this all, Phichit.  Just...please, think about all of it, okay?”

“Yeah sure.”  Phichit turned away and started to dig through clothes once again.  He didn’t want to think about this.  Yuuri was being ridiculous.  Why wouldn’t he be a good godfather?  Yuuri was acting as if Phichit hated babies or something.  That was so far from the truth.  He could be a great godfather and he was going to prove it.

 

*

 

“And then he just changed the subject and pulled out this broken Betty Boop figurine with only one boob.  There was also a chunk of the skirt over her butt missing.  It was kinda funny.” 

Phichit sighed and curled into the comfort of Chris’s lap.  Chris had come over for dinner and afterward they had a long leisurely shower where Chris made quick work of most of Phichit’s tension from the day.  He had been sitting on this through everything though.  A calloused hand worked its way through his damp hair and sent faint trails of pleasure down his spine.  It was a sleepy kind of loving and Phichit was a puddle.  

“I don’t get it.  Why did it he have to say it like that?  Yuuri has never ever said anything at all like that before.  I just can’t believe that he thinks so little of me.”  Puddle or not, the knot of worry was still eating at him and he was desperate for an answer.

Chris kissed Phichit’s temple and a bit of frustration tapered off.  He looked up at the taller man waiting for his response.  He seemed to be thinking it through, given his contemplative look and the seconds that were ticking by.  

“I’ve only been friends with Yuuri for a few months more than I’ve known you.  He’s very direct and maybe he didn’t say it in the best way, but he does know you best.  He loves you almost as much as he loves Viktor.  Maybe he was trying to tell you something.  He obviously wants you to be the child’s godfather even knowing that you’re not exactly parental.  Sure, it came out like a backhanded compliment, but maybe you should focus on the compliment part?”

Phichit put his head back on Chris’s shoulder.  He knew that a baby was supposed to be this beautiful moment.  Yuuri and Viktor had wanted this so badly and now it’s got this ugly stamp on it.  “Yuuri and Viktor have talked about having kids since before they got married.  Yuuri’s friends back home have triplets and he loves getting to see them.  Viktor’s family wasn’t the warmest and he wants to do it right for his family.”

“And you?”

“Huh?”  Phichit looked up at Chris in surprise.  “What do you mean?”

Chris tilted his head to the side.  “What do you like about kids?  Why do you want to have them?” 

“Want?  Oh…”  Phichit slid back down and took hold of Chris’s free hand.  He traced his fingers over each digit with a brief smile.  He couldn’t help but think of how beautiful this hand was.  “Well...I guess that’s part of everything, right?  Kids are okay.  They can be loud and messy and gross, but that’s just what kids are.”

Chris’s hand came to a sudden stop in his hair.  A tension-filled him as he looked down at Phichit.  “You think that kids are necessary?”

“Well.  I mean, they’re normal, I guess.”

“Normal?”  Chris turned Phichit to look at him directly with a hand under his chin.  “Let me be blunt with you.  You are gay.  There’s no woman in any equation for you.  Why do you think it’s even remotely normal?  Don’t get me wrong.  There are clearly some guys that are maternal, paternal and a whole lot of ‘ernal’, but there is no such story that it’s normal for all guys to have kids and make a ‘family’.”

Phichit’s face screwed up briefly.  How could he just say it like that?  That was just cold and a little insulting.  Was he trying to say that Yuuri and Viktor weren’t normal?  He snapped before he could think of anything better to say.  “Don’t you want a family?”

“Today?  I’m not even remotely in a position to consider that.  I’ve got a brand new potential career starting up.  There’s this new guy that I’m just trying to get to know better and have incredible sex with.  Right now, my life is pretty damn perfect.  I don’t need a kid to get in the way of all of that.  I don’t want a picket fence and a dog farm.”  Chris scoffed, pulling away from Phichit.  

“But…”  Phichit’s mouth opened and closed several times with his sudden inability to respond.  Everything he’s always wanted, every dream he’s created of his life has always led up to that beautiful ride into the sunset.  The happy ever after with the family and the kids and absolutely everything he could ever possibly want in life.  

Phichit had spent the last couple of years watching his friends in love and fall in love.  These incredible people coming together in these perfect relationships.  They were romantic, doting, and perfect pictures of a love that you search for desperately with every bit of your heart.  What was so wrong with wanting that?  Why did it have to be so difficult?

Chris stood up, looking away with his arms folding over his chest.  He let out a short, but clearly frustrated sigh.  “Phichit, if what we have right now isn’t enough for you, then you should say so.  I can’t offer you more than what I already am and what I’m giving to you freely.  I don’t have anything else.”  

The room was slowly turning to ice and Phichit felt a shiver of fear run down his spine.  The flash of the past was suddenly in this room and Phichit felt a hard lump form in his throat.   _ Who would ever want that kind of life with you? _  The echo of old words cut at him again, even after this long.  Phichit lunged forward, wrapping his arms tightly around Chris’s waist. 

“No, please!  I want you,” Phichit cried before pressing his face into Chris’s back.  He didn’t want the tears to come.  He didn’t want Chris to leave.  This was all spiraling terribly out of control.  How did being uncomfortable with how Yuuri didn’t think he’d like a baby turn into Chris threatening to leave?

This wasn’t exactly the fairy tale that his friends had, but Phichit was happy.  Happier than he’d ever been with another person on a romantic level.  Chris was witty and fun.  He was so beautiful it hurt to look at him, much less listen to him sing.  Phichit just clung a bit tighter, trying to will his tears not to fall.  Deep breaths only had a slight hitch to them.  

It was like hugging a rock for a moment before Chris turned back to face Phichit.  He hugged him loosely and let Phichit collect himself before they sat together on the bed once more.  Phichit may have been even more clingy than usual that evening, but it was never anything Chris had minded before.  Luckily for them both, Chris started telling a story about the restaurant and the subject was dropped for the evening.  

 

*

 

“You have really made my life difficult, Katsuki.”  Christophe began his stretchings, needing only a light warm-up after the two hours of yoga just before.

“That wasn’t my intention, though I was afraid this would happen.”  Yuuri sighed, running through several ballet stretches using the pole as a makeshift barre.  “Phichit has spent so much of his time looking at the world through a rose-colored lens, he’s just not sure how to live his own life with his own thoughts and opinions.”

“I suppose, considering his role models, you can understand.  A little, anyway.”  Christophe bent over at the waist, hugging his legs while he thought about it.  

Yuuri came to sit beside him, copying the stretch.  Chris could see the tension in Yuuri’s shoulders and the worry in his eyes.  This was clearly affecting Yuuri more than he was saying.  He reached out to put a hand on Yuuri’s arm.

“Yuuri, this isn’t going to scare me away.  You don’t need to worry about that.”

Yuuri looked at Chris with a weak smile.  “It’s not just this that I’m worried about.  Leo told us that he’s going to propose to Guang Hong.”

“Oh!  That sounds wonderful.  Phichit will be very happy for them.”  Chris smiled at the thought of the highly excitable Leo and what he would potentially do to propose.  Phichit would be right there with him, planning and celebrating.  They would be talking about this for weeks.  Oh, wait.  “He’s going to be trying to plan our wedding, isn’t he?”

“Wedding plans and baby plans and Phichit wanting to finish the fairy tale where his prince carries him off into the sunset.”  Yuuri elbowed Chris with a fond smile.  “You really make a better princess in the equation.”

His prince on a white steed with his cellphone at the ready to slay the dragons.  It was not only adorable to imagine, it was surprisingly not far off from how Chris viewed Phichit.  He was certainly the one that came in and surprised Chris with his dreams.  What else did a good knight need to do except being incredibly loving in every sense of the word?

“It was really tempting for a bit there to just let Phichit have control of it all.  I just have too much pride.  He’s two years younger than me and runs his own business that he’s had for at least four years now.  I can’t help but feel a little frustrated by that.”  Chris shifted to a wide-legged split.  The pull of muscles was relaxing and distracted him from his fluster.  He was embarrassed even if he didn’t want to be.  It’s not like it was a competition or anything.

Yuuri snorted and gave Chris a frustrated look.  “Believe me, I can understand Phichit-jealousy.  It doesn’t help that default Phichit is cute and seems even younger than he is.  Do you realize how often people ask me about my younger brother?  We’re the same age!”  He sat up and laid back with a bit of an over-exaggerated groan.

Chris laid out beside Yuuri and shook his head solemnly.  It was absolutely a terrible fate, to always look older than the baby-faced Phichit.  “We must remind ourselves that not everyone wishes to have the face of an adorable baby throughout their adulthood.”

Another shared look and they were laughing.  There was a lightness to their laughter, which made the worries seem distant.  He had been worried about Yuuri giving him another demon speech and instead they were both uncertain but in agreement.  Yuuri was conflicted about all of this and Chris could understand why.  He couldn’t decide how he felt about all of this either.

They were silently thinking for a few moments before Yuuri began again.  “The real reason why I was trying to stop Phichit from just jumping into things was to try to stop him from recreating my life with Viktor.  He isn’t the only person that has referred to us as ‘hashtag relationship goals’, but he is the only one I know of that has actively tried to emulate us.” 

He paused for a moment, fidgeting his feet a bit.  Chris sat up curiously.  This already sounded like quite the story.

“His first major boyfriend after Viktor and I got together was this crazy dog walker, Robert.  He was weirdly flirty with everyone but kept insisting that he didn’t mean it.  They had been dating for a month and Phichit decided that he really wanted to have something to share with Robert.  Something  _ theirs. _  So he got a puppy from the pound and named it Alaska because Robert liked some drag queen with that name.  Phi put together this big reveal dinner at his apartment and Robert immediately loved the dog.  Then Robert told him that he was a free spirit and he was leaving for LA to become a lounge singer.  Bye-bye Robert and bye-bye Alaska.”

Chris and Yuuri shared a pained look.  This explained a lot about Phichit’s behavior.  Viktor and Yuuri’s poodles were almost as important to them as each other.  Phichit had just wanted to taste some of the bonding that came with that kind of relationship.  What Chris couldn’t grasp was why Phichit felt the need to imitate so much.

“We keep trying to remind Phichit that he’s too focused on looking for the perfect partner and then when he has ‘the one’, he wants to get to the happily ever after before he has the romance and getting to know you part.  He just can’t let go of the fact that we’re all married or about to be married.  There’s just something making him ask ‘why not me?’”

Sweet tender-hearted Yuuri sniffled a bit and Chris draped an arm around his shoulders.  His heart was a bit conflicted trying to decide if he was going to be sad and worried or a bit awed by just how much Yuuri was affected by his best friend.  For the moment he settled on a neutral feeling and focused his attention on Yuuri.

“I’m sure he’ll figure it out, Yuuri.  You aren’t wrong for wanting to help him.  If you didn’t care about him, you wouldn’t do anything at all.  Phichit just needs time to learn for himself what he wants.” 

They shared a smile and Yuuri nodded.  There wasn’t much more time for tears as the instructor was finally there and getting ready to start the class.  One thing at a time, and right now Chris just wanted to make it through this class.

 

*

 

It had been one month.  One incredible, amazing, mind-blowing month since the gallery opening.  Chris walked into the apartment building, feeling no small amount of envy at the clean building and the clearly well-protected occupants.  The elevator ride was smooth and didn’t smell of things that a building shouldn’t smell of.  Everything was much closer now though, Chris could actually believe that he could move out of his current apartment and live somewhere like here (or Phichit’s place).  

Mila flung open the door and dragged him in when he arrived at her apartment.  She and Sara kept an open floor plan to their apartment with only the bathroom closed off.  A romantic corner draped with curtains closed off their bed from view.  Easily his favorite part was the tall windows.  They let in a lot of light even on that cloudy day.  It made the apartment feel happier and more welcoming.  

“So?  Tell me everything!  How goes the fun on social media?  Guang Hong’s guidebook has been pointing you in the right direction?” Mila looked eager to see him respond as she collected two mugs of tea.  She handed one to Chris, the tag reading Berry Green Tea, and he made sure to add two sugars before taking a satisfyingly slow sip.  He was being deliberately coy and he knew he shouldn’t be.  Mila was practically vibrating on the edge of the stool she was sitting on.  Chris couldn’t help but drag it out with a teasing grin.  

“It’s not an overnight sort of thing, but I did hit 300 followers on Instagram so that has to count for something,” Chris shrugged nonchalantly.  Casual, he might be pretending to be, but inside he was incredibly proud.  In just a month, he had done more than he had dreamed of ever accomplishing at this point in his life.  He wasn’t with a record company, but he had real fans and opportunities to perform with already popular artists. 

Mila squealed and flung herself at him, hugging him around the neck.  “Oh my gosh!  I knew it.  I knew it!  You’re going to love being in control of your music.”  Mila pulled back, smiling broadly at him.  “Are you picking up on all of the little details yet?”

“Phichit has been trying to explain all of the details with numbers and metrics, but it’s still mostly gibberish honestly.  I mean, I am starting to see change and the numbers are becoming less and less confusing, I think.”  Chris wasn’t exactly a business major and the idea of doing math and learning statistics to do this was more than a little daunting.  

Mila hopped up and started to turn on her lights.  “Well, lucky for you, there’s a bit of hype about us singing today.  Ever since we did those Instagram stories and Leo put together that one video for us, my followers have been asking about you.  I was waiting for us to have something a bit more before I start making a big fuss.  Create some anticipation, ya know.”

He had been getting more worried about becoming overwhelmed by doing all of this by himself and it was the main reason why he wasn’t trying to rush everything.  It was good that he was building a following and establishing himself as a legitimate artist.  Leo had tried to push more on him every time they spoke though.  He offered to build Chris a YouTube channel to Leo sharing Chris’s music with his own followers.  Chris was only one person and he couldn’t handle the 300 people that were already following him.  He received dozens of comments for his pictures and even a few messages from a few fans when he did short ‘vlog’ videos on Instagram.  He needed to ease into things. 

Though this was far from easing into it at this point.  Mila’s follower count was already over 700,000 and counting.  He was going to be introduced into a very big world when she shared the videos they were making today.  Chris pulled out his guitar and started the quick tuning process.  Mila returned to perch on the stool beside him.  The setup was complete.  The murky New York skyline was in the windows behind them.  The pair of stools had a small table with their tea and a water bottle between them.  It was simple but put the focus on them and the music.  Chris was pleased with the setup.  

“I was thinking about doing a couple of songs.  I know we did a few at the gallery and we can certainly do at least a couple from that set and then maybe a couple more.  You can space out when we share them online, but doing this together will be good for us both.  I’ve got a few openings in my schedule for YouTube and having your gorgeous booty on my channel is going to bring me plenty of attention.”

Chris laughed.  “You’re trying really hard to be flattering.  I’m getting worried that you’re going to convince me to do more than I’m ready for.”

Mila tutted, easily reading into those words for what he meant.  “Those boys are pushing you around again?  Don’t let them.  In this business, you are the boss.  You don’t ever have to have more than an Instagram if you want.”  Mila frowned and put a hand on his arm.  They had discussed a few days before that Chris was feeling too overwhelmed with just one social media account.  He wasn’t ready for YouTube and everything else to get piled in the mix, too.  “You would think that Phichit at least wouldn’t be trying to force you into anything that you aren’t ready for.”

“I think he’s getting frustrated with how long this is taking.  He seems to think that I should be famous already.  Not to mention, his sudden baby nonsense.”  Chris didn’t want to feel frustrated with his boyfriend, but despite it feeling increasingly forced Phichit wouldn’t stop talking about Yuuri and Viktor’s future baby.  “He keeps trying to talk up the fairytale of Yuuri and Viktor’s future together.”

“What?  Since when does Phichit care about babies and all of that nonsense?  He’s in love with his job.  I can’t imagine him ever having kids.”  

“That’s what everyone says.  I’m stressed out enough trying to not be intimidated by going at this all alone.  I don’t want him to do this for me.  I should learn all of this on my own and be able to do this myself.  He can do it after all.  I just don’t know when I can do it.”  Chris put down his guitar and ran a hand through his hair.

“You need a source of income or a friend that your willing to let take care of you.  You need to stop being afraid of all of this.”  Mila couldn’t have been more right, but Chris’s pride was getting in the way.  He spent as many of his free hours working at the restaurant as he could.  Minako was incredibly flexible with him, which he was grateful for.  It was just enough to get him his rent and necessities.  He didn’t spend a lot of money on anything but the occasional meal out.  The rest of his time was being split between Leo and Otabek on recording the song and preparing footage for the music video.   

“I don’t know, Mila.  It’s just Phichit.  He just has this singular idea of what his life should be.  It’s a fairy tale with no bearing on what he’s already doing with his life.”  

Mila was quiet as she thought over everything.  Chris spent a lot of time thinking this through and he kept getting stuck on Phichit.  Sweet, adorable, but completely stubborn and crazy Phichit.  He didn’t know if he wanted to mix business with pleasure when he wasn’t completely sure of how to continue.

“You know, that actually sounds awfully familiar.”  Mila looked up at Chris and laughed.  She screwed up her face, trying to stop the laughter, but it still shook her shoulders.  “Sorry.  You don’t get it, but this is really kind of funny.”

“What in the world are you talking about?”

“Okay, okay, it’s really two different problems, but you have to realize you just had this fairy tale idea view of being a musician.  You need the manager, the record deal, all of the stuff you saw in the movies.”  Mila ticked off on her fingers as she spoke.  A part of Chris wanted to twitch and immediately tell her that she was crazy, but it wasn’t.  It really wasn’t.  It made a lot of sense.

It was the most unexpected light bulb.  Suddenly the table felt swapped and Chris could see the shock on Phichit’s face when he learned Chris didn’t have a Twitter account.  He felt a sharp stab of guilt.  He wasn’t handling this with the same grace that Phichit had done for him.  Certainly comparing these two issues was like comparing apples to oranges, but at the root of it Phichit made these rules for his love life and he didn’t realize they weren’t the only way.

“I’ve been agonizing over this for days.  I was starting to wonder if it would be better if I stopped seeing him.  Now…” Chris ran a hand through his hair and sighed.  “Now, I just feel like such an ass.” 

“You are, but unfortunately most men are.”  The cheeky brat.  Mila laughed again, letting her head fall back as her whole body shook from the force of it.  She straightened after a moment and reached over to pat Chris’s arm.  “I’d be more worried if you didn’t care.  Let’s be honest, Phichit is a huge commitment, but we all have gone in for the long haul because we know it’s worth it.  You act like you haven’t considered the future, but I see it every time we talk and in everything you do for him.”

“No, I suppose I don’t do this sort of thing lightly anymore.  Phichit makes me happy.”  The feeling was there deep in his gut.  A soft little spark of happiness that sang in him whenever he thought of or talked to Phichit these days.  It was soft and cozy, just the right kind of feeling to sink into contently for a long time.  

Mila cleared her throat, breaking his little daydream.  She handed him his guitar with a grin.  “Then you need to be there for Phichit and knock some sense into his head.  After we record these songs.”

Chris smiled and nodded in agreement.  He felt surprisingly happy, even after the realization that he had been a bit of a jerk.  This was going to be tricky.  Chris was going to need to find the most subtle way to go about it.  Phichit clearly wasn’t ready to be told this bluntly if his behavior earlier was any indication.  First, Chris needed to decide for himself what exactly was the future he wanted with Phichit.

 

*

 

“And then they danced on the roof until it started to get chilly.  Oh Chris, it was so romantic.”  Phichit sighed happily into his salad.  The pair had gotten together for a short lunch before Chris needed to head across town to the restaurant for another night.  Right now Chris was starting to wonder if he should fake being called in early.  This was starting to sound like another disaster waiting to happen.  

Leo had been very excited for the last few days and when they had done some location filming for the video the day before, Leo’s head had been in the clouds. The easily excitable man had finally decided to propose to Guang Hong and had put together a romantic evening to set it all up.  When Leo had gone into detail about his plans (letting him get out some of that excitable energy and letting them finish filming for the day), the story had been incredibly sweet.  

Phichit sighed again, looking over Chris’s shoulder.  He had assisted Leo with getting a meal from one of the couple’s favorite restaurants and allowing Leo the element of surprise.  Apparently, Phichit had also taken it upon himself to set up a camera to go off on its own to capture the big moment.  Chris wasn’t certain that the idea of Phichit gifting the couple a framed copy of the proposal was going to go over as well as he hoped though.

“It’s good for them.”  That was true at least.  He didn’t know if Phichit expected him to compete with that or if Phichit was going to attempt to put together a marriage proposal for him one day.  Either notion didn’t sit well with Chris.  He couldn’t quite appreciate the value of a wedding.  A couple knew they were making a commitment, having a party about it just felt like an excuse for bridezillas to get ridiculously expensive gifts and have an open bar.  Chris was fine with signing a mortgage or at least a multiple year lease on a condo.  His friends could bring alcohol for his housewarming party. 

“It’s about time, really.  They’ve been together for two years now.  I was always surprised that they didn’t do it sooner.”  Phichit snatched one of Chris’s croutons from his plate, munching happily.  

“Ever since it became legal, it seems like everyone has wedding fever.”  Chris took a piece of chicken off of Phichit’s salad in exchange.  

“It’s not a fever.” Phichit pouted disapprovingly at him, but Chris shrugged, unwilling to argue the point.  “Marriage is about two people just being really in love.  I want to be able to be that in love and to be able to support someone for the rest of my life.”

“You do that just fine right now.  I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone more on my side than you in my whole life.  You do support me and I know without a doubt how much you care about me.  That’s amazing.  You’re the same way with all of your friends.  You didn’t need a marriage to be this incredible person, Phi.”  Chris reached across the table to take Phichit’s hand.  There was a faint jerk to his hand as Chris’s came over his, and Chris worried for a moment that it was going to be a repeat of the baby discussion.  This time, Phichit just looked confused and conflicted.

“How could I not love all of your guys?  You’re all the most important people in my life.”  Phichit said it but didn’t seem completely convinced himself.  Chris wondered how much this was going to confuse him before he could understand really what Chris was trying to suggest.  Instead of dwelling on it, Chris just smiled back at Phichit.  

“P, I couldn’t be happier knowing that.”  He brought Phichit’s hand to his lips, kissing the knuckles lightly.  “I hate to cut things short, but the trains have been running off today, so I don’t want to be late.  When do you think you’ll be able to have another night together?”

“Oh, I’m going to be busy at least until the weekend.  Between our usual work and the classes, it’s been hectic.  They’ll be over next week and then it’s just the party for everyone.  You are coming to that, right?” Phichit’s hopeful puppy dog eyes were so cute on him.  Even if Chris had a heart of stone, he’d never be able to say no to them.  

“Of course.  I have the whole day off and I’m meeting Sara and Mila at the hall to help set up ahead of time.  We’re hoping to keep Leo from getting distracted by his new fiancé.”  It came out as a joke, but they both anticipated it was going to be very difficult these next few weeks.  

Phichit’s shoulders dropped with relief and a small smile reappeared on his face.  Chris made certain to kiss a better smile onto his face before they reluctantly parted.  The subway entrance was a block away and Chris took a chance to quickly peek at his Instagram.  He had tried sharing a selfie from lunch and there were a few cute comments already on it.  

He stopped before he reached the stairs to the subway when his phone suddenly started ringing.  “Otabek! How’re you doing?” 

The DJ was still as simple and direct as always.  “I should have gotten ahold of you sooner.  You remember the music I had you record for me a few weeks ago?  I finally got paid for it.  I want to make sure you get your cut.  Can you stop by this weekend so I can get it to you?  I’d also like to record a bit more with you if you can make the time.”

“Wait, paid?  I didn’t know that was part of what you were doing.”  Chris stopped and sat on the edge of a railing, not wanting to move until he heard all of this.  

“You didn’t think I worked for free, did you?  I didn’t think you intended to sing for free either.  Can you come by this weekend or not?  I have some deadlines that I need to meet so the sooner the better.” 

The moment spun out for a few breaths as Chris realized that he was being offered a paid singing gig and most likely a repeat job.  “Yeah.  Yeah.  Let me get with my boss and I’ll message you in a couple of hours when I can be there.”

“If you can handle the advertising jobs that I have to finish, I’ll make sure you make at least your Saturday salary.”  Otabek hung up before Chris could respond, but he didn’t need to.  Chris was already letting out a cry of happiness.  It scored him a few dirty looks, but he didn’t care.  A Saturday night at the restaurant could be big for him.  It was usually a third to half of his weekly salary.  

He hopped up and rushed down the stairs to catch the next train.  Chris tried to think of everything he would need to ask Otabek about what would be necessary and just how much he could expect to be paid.  He didn’t think that Otabek would be anything less than honest with him, but Chris had to face the reality that he didn’t know what kind of salary he should be getting in his position.  

The train ride was spent making a few notes on his phone, but mostly deciding he needed some help if he was going to do this.  Once back in an area with service, he was quick to send off a text to Phichit with the good news.  He also called Viktor and hoped that the accountant would be able to answer some of his questions.  


	4. I Was Just Guessing Numbers and Figures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lightbulb moments continue and finally Chris has a plan.

The bartender wasn’t the flashy kind that flipped bottles and worked to the beat of heavy electronic music, but he was the only one that Phichit found indulgent enough to make round after round of [Loco Unicorn cocktails](https://mixthatdrink.com/loco-unicorn-loconut-cocktail/) for a variety of New York City’s more ridiculous drinkers.  Right now he didn’t need to be a mess, but after three drinks he was sloppy enough to just lay out all of his frustrations.  

Sara rested against his side as he idly stirred his drink.  She was always happy to cuddle and offer comfort when things were rough.  It wasn’t even that things were bad for Phichit, but he was trying to do a lot at once.  His classes happened in the afternoon three days a week for the last three weeks.  He didn’t have tests or homework, focusing more on passing on information and discussing everything from copyrights to copywriting.  There was a lot to prepare for each class and Phichit tried to do as much of it himself as he could.  He still had four major clients for the Agency that he needed to work with.  There were still meetings and projects to start up.  

Phichit tried to keep in touch with Chris, tried to spend more than time in bed with him.  He thought he had done well enough leaving those stressful problems behind when he was with Chris.  He just let himself have some perfectly happy moments without thinking about work or teaching.  They were the most refreshing parts of his week.  

He still had the nagging worries about what Yuuri told him.  He looked at his best friend across the booth.  Yuuri was finishing a text to Viktor and putting away his phone oblivious to the sudden attention focused on him.  

“How’s Viktor?” Sara asked, straightening up to take a sip of her drink.  

“Oh, you know.  Whining that he’s alone with the puppies for the moment.  He’s got plans for the evening so I know he doesn’t really mean it.”  Yuuri’s smile was just on the side of sappy and Phichit felt that happy warmth in his gut.  Knowing how happy Yuuri was always made him happy.  A little more tension seeped out of him. 

Sara bumped her shoulder against Phichit’s.  “What about Chris?  Mila has been really happy with the videos that they did.  She said that he’s getting even more attention than before.”

Phichit sighed and took a long sip of his drink.  “He’s really happy about it, but he’s overwhelmed.  Chris keeps looking at everything like it’s more than he can handle.  Until it pays his bills completely though, it might be.  I keep trying to drop hints that he can rely on me more.  I’d be happy to cover him for a couple of months so that he can start up his Patreon and spend more time recording.  He’s almost as busy as I am right now between dancing and serving.  Otabek did just call him a couple days ago though to offer him regular paid work with the advertising music he’s been doing lately.”

It had been so hard to keep his word with Chris.  Phichit didn’t want Chris to feel like he was a project for Phichit.  He didn’t want to talk about numbers or marketing potential if Chris wasn’t asking.  He usually wasn’t.  It was frustrating, but Phichit felt rather proud of Chris for not wanting to use Phichit for his own benefit.  As if he needed another reason to fall for his incredible musician.  

“He asked Viktor for advice about how to talk money with Otabek.  Not that Chris doesn’t trust Otabek to be fair, but he doesn’t know the first thing about what he should be getting and what he should be promising when he makes contracts for work.  Viktor hasn’t been so excited to talk numbers and legal matters in a long while.”  Yuuri chuckled and reached for his (first) drink.  “Money is a scary thing for everyone, Phi.  So just give him some time.”

“I just…”  Phichit sighed trailing off.  He didn’t know how best to say it.  Part of him knew a lot of his pushing for Chris was based more on something almost selfish.  He knew that Chris was suited to this kind of world.  Chris was going to be so happy with himself and his career once everything just clicked into place.  He was so incredibly talented and he wanted Chris to be able to enjoy that.  Maybe even to just see for himself how much Phichit knew he was worth it.

He poked at his drink again.  “Do you think he’s afraid of it?  Like is that all that’s bothering him?  Or do you think that he’s still nursing some old hurt by being rejected?”

“It’s not exactly impossible,” Sara agreed.  She put a hand over Phichit’s.  “Has he ever given you any indication that this is how he’s feeling?”

“When we first were together I asked him just a couple of times, offhandedly that I wished that I had his music to listen to whenever he wasn’t around.  Every time he just brushed it off.  ‘Oh, I can’t afford that.’  I never wanted to say that I would pay for it.  I mean, I would immediately, but I didn’t like how involving money or buying him things like that made it sound.  Like I was only interested in him because of his voice or something.  But he’s always working or taking extra dance classes.  I’m not the one that really drove home that this could be easy.  He told me about working with Mila and how comfortable that was.  So why isn’t he trying to let himself do this?” 

Phichit settled his chin in his hands and looked between the two.  Sara was quick to shrug and hold up her hands.  She didn’t know him as well as Mila at this point.  Yuuri looked thoughtful for a few moments.  Phichit held his tongue and waited.  Yuuri had a way of understanding people’s insecurities and with the years of his own as guidance, Phichit knew that no one else could figure it out like he could.

Yuuri tilted his head to the side and pursed his lips.  “I don’t think you’re wrong, Phi, but I don’t think you’re right either.  Chris has gotten numb to all of the rejection over the years.  He’s accepted that he’s a lot of what directors and producers would want in a musician.  He was always better suited to being a performer, an actor on Broadway, but that wasn’t what Chris wanted.  He’s not going to sing and act his way to Tonys.  He wants to have that intimate connection with an audience.  To be able to be heard on the radio and have music videos.  He doesn’t care if he sings covers for the rest of his life.”

Phichit felt the but coming and sighed.  Why couldn’t he find the magic cure-all that would make this easier?  “It’s all just too big for someone that had been comfortable in his own little space for so long.  It’s pretty risky.  He could fail, but perhaps he’s worried about more than one kind of failure.  Money means losing his apartment and being stuck without a job.  But more importantly, there’s you.  What if he fails and that means you leave?”

“That’s insane!”  Phichit sputtered, for just a moment waving his hands in a vain effort to express just how profoundly ridiculous that idea was.  Just no.  Absolutely not.  Nothing could make him want to end things with Chris.  Especially not if Chris couldn’t do anything more than he already was with his music.  He quickly bit down on his lip feeling the sharp pricks that came with threatening tears in his eyes.  “He can’t feel that way, can he?”

Yuuri gave a helpless shrug.  “Phi, I can really only guess.  I’ve never come out and asked him any of this and you’ve been avoiding it for almost as long as you two have been dating.  The only way to know if either of us is right is to ask him.”

“I was afraid you were going to say that.”  He dropped his head to the table with another sigh.  Sara rubbed his back comfortingly and Phichit tried to let it make him feel better.  “I just don’t want to mess things up.”

A snort sounded above him and Sara suddenly chuckled.  “Don’t give me that look Yuuri, you know he’s not going to let himself see more than is explicitly there.  We can thank that little prick for that.”

“Ethan wasn’t just a prick, Sara.” Phichit lifted his head with a frown.

“You’re not going to defend him even after he dumped you.”  Sara put a finger to his lips, silencing even his weak desire to try to argue about it.  “Now, my point, dear foolish friend, is that you can’t even see the way that boy looks at you.  From the first moment I saw him singing at my gallery opening, I saw how he immediately lit up when you sat down beside him.  You’ve done some wonderful things for him already and you should be good enough for him to at least acknowledge that he is very happy because of you.”

“I wouldn’t have said it so roughly, but she is right.” Yuuri tried to at least pretend to be polite by snickering behind his hand.  He collected himself quickly and continued.  “If you’re worried about Chris, you need to tell him.  You need to let him know that he’s important and say all of the things you want to say about him.  Now is a good time to be a little overwhelming.”  

“Really?  I mean, I really wanted to give him a key to my place.  I want him to actually move in with me.  What if he isn’t ready for that?” Phichit chewed on his bottom lip worriedly.  

“Then he’ll say as much.  But you need to let him tell you why.  Maybe he’s not ready, but maybe he isn’t going to dump you immediately because you asked,” Sara said, poking Phichit lightly in the cheek.  “But he could surprise you and finally let you just be his sugar daddy.  I would if I could.”

“Sara.”  It was a whine, but give him a little credit, Phichit wasn’t certain of any of this.  The last time he had tried to ask someone to move in with him, he had been laughed at.  Ethan hadn’t been kind when he told Phichit that he wasn’t move in with material.  His ex had seemingly enjoyed being with Phichit and they had a good time on their dates.  They were even compatible in bed, but when Phichit asked him to go to the next level Ethan had just laughed.

Yuuri reached across the table and pushed Phichit’s cheeks in, joining in on the game of deflating their friend.  “No whining or I’m sending Chris my favorite pictures of you.”

“Oh my gosh, the ones of him all curled up in the hamster footie pajamas?  I love those!”  Sara lit up and reached for Yuuri’s phone.  “I want to see them right now.”  She giggled maniacally and Yuuri just let her start digging.  

“No!”  Phichit tried to steal the phone in hopes of being rid of the pictures once and for all, but Sara just held the phone higher and out of his immediate reach.

Yuuri just laughed, like the terrible best friend he was.  “You could just stop whining and then you wouldn’t have to worry about anything.  Trust us.  This isn’t going to be a repeat of Ethan.  We wouldn’t have let him anywhere near you if he was.”

Huh?  Phichit looked back at Yuuri in surprise, ending his wrestle for the phone.  “What do you mean wouldn’t have let him?”

“Phichit, you are so smart, but sometimes you are really clueless.  How did you miss all of us sizing him up?  I’ve already given him the shovel talk, pretty much right after the first time you two met.”  Yuuri’s amused look brought a blush to Phichit’s face.  He had always been the one to do the protecting of all of his friends’ hearts.  He couldn’t remember the last time they had actually had the opportunity to properly return the favor.  

“I did it after he recorded with Mila a couple weeks ago,” Sara added.

“Georgi did his own version of it.  I think Guang Hong may have gotten a background check on him.”  Yuuri winced a little at that, but Phichit couldn’t stop the bubble of laughter that came with that thought.  Guang Hong was always looked at as the cute one, but really he was fierce and vicious under that fluff of brown hair.

“Guys...I…” Maybe it was the three Loco Unicorns talking, but Phichit felt his bottom lip tremble for a moment.  Yuuri hopped over to their side of the booth and pushed into for a tight hug with Sara on the other side.  

“If you going to be a sloppy drunk, dearie, then you need at least a couple more.  We can move this somewhere it’ll be more fun if you two are up to it,” Sara suggested and immediately Phichit perked up.  Drunken dancing with his besties hadn’t happened in a while, and the idea of letting loose sounded amazing.  He quickly gave Yuuri his strongest puppy dog eyes.  

Yuuri laughed and gave Phichit a quick peck on the cheek.  “What am I going to tell Viktor we’re doing?  You know that he’ll rush to join us and bring Chris, too.”

“Tell him that we’re at my place watching horror movies and eating tubs of green tea ice cream.”  Phichit easily smirked along with Sara.  Two things that Viktor was  **not** a fan of would certainly keep him away.  As much as Viktor was always welcome to be there with Yuuri, Phichit was reluctant to see Chris.  Not while he was still unsettled, and especially not after a few more drinks.  

Yuuri quickly picked up his phone and sent his message.  “It’ll be better if we can crash at your place tonight.  Especially since I’m going to be the one having to take you two home.”

Phichit hopped up to take care of their tab and Yuuri and Sara debated the logistics of that.  Mila was probably going to meet them at their favorite club, but it would be all right.  Phichit was already feeling lighter and ready to face the rest of his insane week.  

 

*

 

Meeting with Otabek had been very easy and Viktor had joined him in an effort to make it a learning experience.  Once Otabek realized that he was quick to join in with more detailed information about pay scales and common practices in and out of advertising opportunities.  It was more information all at once than he’d taken in recently, but money and legal matters were much easier to understand than all of the ins and outs of marketing and social media.  

Chris and Viktor left that evening and headed off to have dinner and talk a bit more about what Chris needed to do from here.  The pair settled on an elegant, but simple establishment that Viktor claimed had some of the best wine choices.  Chris fussed over the cost, but Viktor ignored him and insisted that he was paying for dinner. 

With a small notepad that was filling easily with new notes beside him, Chris paused to enjoy a sip of wine.  It really was a fantastic red that went perfectly with their meal.  He lowered his glass and looked at the notes again.  “This is a much easier angle for me to look at things.  I love him dearly, but Phichit talks a whole other language sometimes.”

Viktor slowly arched a brow and seemed to file that notion aside for later.  “It doesn’t come naturally to everyone.  There are some people that are suited to it and others are not.  You want to be practical and work from the results backwards.  That’s not the wrong method, just not the one for him.”

Chris nodded in agreement.  “I think I will take your advice though and invest this first paycheck in someone to help with the social stuff.  Phichit’s grad mixer is going to be the exact opportunity I need to meet someone that can make this easier for me.  I really appreciate you helping me set up the work contract.  I wouldn’t want to miss anything important that could make things difficult.”

“Of course!  I haven’t had a chance to do this sort of thing in a long time.  When Phichit first hired me, there were more creators that needed the advice.  Now it’s a bit boring doing my job.”  The heart-shaped smile morphed into its ridiculously cute pout shape.  Chris understood that Viktor was more interested in being in the same building as Yuuri than having a fascinating job, but that wasn’t exactly the most healthy option for him.

“Why haven’t you suggested to add to Phichit’s lessons?  The school has already agreed to another class in two months and he’s already talking about expanding to online classes.  What you have is very important for creators to know and understand.  You should be writing those blog things too.”  Chris smiled at the sudden dumbfounded look that Viktor wore.  

“I didn’t-well…” It hadn’t seemed possible to actually trip up the collected and self-assured Viktor, but it had only taken a seemingly logical suggestion to do it.  Chris grinned, holding in the chuckle that was threatening.  He could see how easy it was for Viktor to morph into the puppy that Yuuri often described him as.  

The moments ticked by as Viktor crept from shocked to spinning the hamster wheel of ideas.  “I can’t believe I hadn’t realized this sooner.  You know how hard it is to be the only boring one in the room?  I’ve got to talk to Georgi.  I need to have some of this prepared before I show Phichit.  You’re absolutely brilliant, Chris.”

Letting himself preen for a moment, Chris grinned and winked at Viktor.  This was just a tiny sample of how he wanted to show his gratitude to Viktor for helping him to build an actual plan to finally be able to leave his job and be able to sing full-time.  He was incredibly grateful for all of the help from everyone.  He had a long way to go before he could show his thanks.

Viktor’s phone buzzed and he snatched it up with a happy coo.  It lasted only a moment before he pouted once again.  “Oh, Yuuri is staying at Sara and Mila’s tonight.  They’re having some scary movie marathon.”

“They must be trying to cram in some extra time together.  I know Yuuri had mentioned that you only had a couple of weeks before your surrogate would be ready.  No more late night parties like that.”  It did make Chris wonder if that was the logic behind it.  He could imagine it being Yuuri’s thought.  

“But still, they could have invited me.”  Leave it to Viktor to make it about him instead.  Chris just laughed and though Viktor bristled for a moment, he finally finished his glass of wine and looked determined.  “Well, since you have officially given me a new hope that my job could be interesting again, we’re going to the late night spa.  The full works; massage, facial and pedicure.  It’s going to be amazing and don’t you dare say anything about it.  We have earned it after everything we do for our men.”

Viktor looked smug and Chris was once again charmed by his childish, but determined nature.  He shook his head and didn’t put in a complaint.  It was actually too much fun talking with Viktor.  They would spend most of their time talking about the worst gossip that they knew of and discussing New York fashion.  Viktor was a great friend to have around and between him and his husband, Chris had somehow found the right combination of support and banter.  He was happy to think of them as his closest friends.

 

*

 

Dating Phichit was a challenge, as Chris found out early on.  He was partially married to his phone and partially distracted by just how attractive his boyfriend was.  The first was easily banished by the second.  The second however manifested itself in a few missed dinner reservations and that one time when they missed the movie they prepaid for.  (“We’re only buying tickets at the movie theater from now on.”)

However, after these last couple of months, Phichit’s soft looks were less about something carnal and deeply satisfying.  They were surprised and full of wonder.  It was like Chris was just an incredible puzzle that he was still trying to figure out.  Phichit’s touch lingered softly and he cuddled often with content sighs and little nuzzles with his nose.  They were getting closer, so it shouldn’t have surprised Chris when another of his friends pulled him aside to talk.

Georgi greeted Chris as he came into the office late one afternoon to collect Phichit from work.  He smiled happily and motioned for Chris to chat with him.  “I’m really happy that you and Phichit have been working out so well.  Phichit doesn’t know how to pick out the right kind of men.  They leave him in pieces after just a few dates.  You’re not intimidated by him and you know how to help balance him.  I hope you realize how you’ve helped him be a bit stronger and happier.”

“Wow.”  How was he supposed to take that?  He expected another shovel talk, but this was completely different.  “I don’t know what to say.  That was-I was expecting you to threaten me.  Thanks, Georgi.  I really am glad to know that.”

Georgi reached across his receptionist desk to pat Chris’s arm.  “Life has a way of finding what you are best suited for.”  He changed the subject a few moments later to thank Chris for suggesting the community center’s yoga classes.  Chris chatted with him for a few moments more, but his mind was focused on what Georgi had said.  It was just another part of what Mila had said to him.  He felt weird saying that he was suited to making Phichit happy, but he was really happy that he did.  It would actually work out and he would find a way to help Phichit be comfortable with himself and the life they were going to have together.

“You’re here!” Phichit was smiling excitedly over the railing down at him.  Maybe it was the sun coming through the skylight or maybe Chris was just imagining the glow around Phichit.  His heart did a sharp lurch as Phichit waved.  “I’ll be down in a moment.”

This was love, wasn’t it?

 

*

 

When you’ve been dating for several months, dates are supposed to feel less and less important.  You’re already spending time at one another’s houses.  You're spending a lot of time with each other’s friends.  You’ve seen them freshly-woken, scratching themselves in that undeniably gross way and you still can’t wait to wake up with them again the next day.

Time together doesn’t diminish the swell of excitement that comes when the text comes in.

**P** : Are you free Friday night for a date night?

Chris had to cash in two favors and collected a few new debts, but he got his shift swapped.  All that was left was to decide what to wear.

When he was being honest with himself, Chris knew that things had changed for him.  Days stopped being complete without Phichit.  They spent so much their day texting and calling one another.  Chris always went to Phichit with his problems, his success, and his failures.  Phichit knew exactly what Chris needed.  How could he have ever thought differently about this incredible man?

Mila and Georgi drove home to him that while they hadn’t said anything in explicit terms, Phichit did care for Chris just as much.  It was a heady feeling and led to a strange, but wonderful late night ice cream and pizza party with Mila and Sara.  The pair had been invaluable in helping him have a bit more context about Phichit’s fantasy future.  It let Chris have a bit more perspective on what he wanted for himself.  At the moment, he was beginning to formulate a plan and a lot of it was relying on the success of Leo’s video. 

When Friday arrived, Chris spent extra time getting ready.  He went through a dozen outfits before finally settling on a comfortable, but snug pair of jeans and a baggy sweater in soft blue.  It was big on him, the collar wide enough to almost hang off his shoulder and granting everyone a teasing glimpse of collarbone and shoulder.  Phichit would love it and that’s all Chris could ask for.

“Coming!” Chris was more than happy to greet Phichit at the door with a soft smile that was probably bordering on sappy.  How else was he supposed to feel when his man arrived so gallantly to take him out for the traditional dinner and a movie date?

Phichit looked just as lovestruck, but perhaps he couldn’t see the change in Chris just yet.  Phichit’s sappy smile made his dark eyes shine with so much happiness.  His skin buzzed with a rush of knowing that Chris was the reason that Phichit looked so happy.   _ I did that! _  Chris leaned down to give Phichit the change to kiss him hello.

“Are you ready to go?” Phichit moved closer, slipping an arm around Chris’s waist to comfortably hold onto his back belt loop. 

Chris nodded, holding back an itch to just hold onto the object of his affections and stay that way.  “I’ve been looking forward to this all week.”

“I just asked you on Wednesday.”  Phichit laughed and let go so that Chris could look up.  He was firmly attached to Chris’s side before they were to the elevator.

“Doesn’t matter that it took that long to make plans.  This is where I’ve wanted to be all week.”  Chris couldn’t help but kiss the top of Phichit’s head.  He blushed so charmingly with a befuddled look on his face.  Chris really couldn’t understand how anyone in their right mind could possibly reject Phichit.  Though perhaps he was a little grateful for it.  Chris wouldn’t be in this position if they hadn’t.

First stop of the evening was their favorite diner, a small place hidden amongst some incredible New York pizza.  They sat on the same side of the booth and fed each other greasy cheese fries and stole sips from each other’s milkshakes.

The movie was one they had been talking about for weeks now.  They picked a late showing that was mostly empty.  Chris propped his legs across Phichit’s lap and kept feeding popcorn in exchange for a comfortable calf massage (his feet were simply too far away).  Now he didn’t really remember everything that happened in the movie, but Chris enjoyed himself watching Phichit enjoy the movie.  His face shifting with the emotions of the film in that adorably expressive way.  

They stepped out into the cooling air of the city.  Holding hands and chatting, they headed back to Phichit’s apartment.  It occurred to Chris that perhaps he was overthinking what a “future” meant to him.  Date nights and spending his free time with someone just as besotted as he was.  Nice quiet evenings without the pressure of needing to be more than just himself.  Sure a part of him wanted a little bit more, but wouldn’t this be enough for the both of them?

Chris curled up against Phichit at the end of the night, feeling sated and warm.  He couldn’t stop himself from brushing light kisses against the softness of Phichit’s hair.  Chris was nearly asleep, but he still wanted to know.  “Do you think we could be happy like this for the rest of our lives?”

Phichit’s only answer was a soft snore and his fingers loosening their hold on Chris’s arm.  That was all right though.  It was just a couple more weeks and the video would be finished.  He was going to make a grand gesture that would not only meet Phichit’s soft spot for romance but also hopefully show him that they didn’t need Phichit’s textbook life.


	5. Tell Me You Love Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He didn't know he needed to have this confrontation, but boy is he glad he did.

Leo was practically skipping through the hall as he decorated for the party.  Phichit had to stop what he was doing to watch for a moment.  Leo was trying to sing Katy Perry loudly, and he was awful.  Just terrible.  Everyone in the room was trying to hide their snickers, but no one would begrudge Leo his happiness.  Not only had he proposed to Guang Hong, but he was putting the last finishing touches on the music video.  They were already planning a special viewing at Mila and Sara’s for their first viewing.  Leo was at the top of his world and nothing was going to bring him down.

“Leo, your fly is down,” Mila deadpanned as she walked by holding the box of certificates for the ‘grads’.  

Leo immediately squeaked and checked his pants.  She was right and the whole room burst into laughter.  They tossed a few jabs across the room at Leo, and he made certain to send equal back.  Streamers were tossed around and the room was quickly spiraling into a mess.  It was just another day in the office for this group.  

After a few minutes, Georgi cut in and forced Leo and Phichit to clean up the mess.  (They had been doing most of the destruction after all.)  He started to go through their one hour before checklist and otherwise they were doing great.  Phichit even managed to get to take a seat before things got into full swing.  He gave all of their notes and supply lists one last double check before excusing himself to change in the backroom quickly.  

The party was planned on a whim the last week of Phichit’s two four-week courses.  Five hours, three times a week with all of his other work as well was beginning to take its toll.  He knew that the only way he managed to survive were his weekly date nights with Chris or Sara and Yuuri and mandatory time away from work each night.  It had made the time crunch worse, but Phichi felt better after each one and move through everything clearer and with a brighter attitude.  

It really made the party for him just as much as those that finished his classes.  It was going to be an experiment as well.  Phichit arranged for the mixer to be filled with creators wanting to promote themselves and a variety of virtual assistants and secretaries.  The intent wasn’t to have a lot of formal plans, but for people to be able to have an opportunity to meet potential customers and clients.  They passed out the word through their channels for everyone from professional artists to gallery owners and different industry agents to join them for an opportunity to get their pick of the talent.  

It was Phichit’s final lesson.  Social media was all well and good, but never underestimate the value of the in person pitch.  Working with a potential client or customer in person was going to teach you more about what you need to do than years of hiding behind a computer.  

Phichit was smoothing on some light BB cream to cover the hint of stress acne that he wanted to cry a little about.  The door opened and Chris slipped into the room to change as well.  Well after he greeted Phichit at least.  He came up behind him and hugged him around the waist.  “Why hello, gorgeous.”

“Hello, charmer.” Phichit put aside his blender sponge and spun to kiss Chris.  He draped his arms around Chris’s neck, practically purring with contentment.  He still couldn’t believe that this incredible man was here, with him.  He had been trying hard not to jump to conclusions or make any ridiculous future plans, but it was getting harder not to picture them doing this a year from now, ten years from now.  Phichit just hoped that it would always be this comfortable for them.  He always wanted to fit, just perfectly against Chris’s body and share these smiles.

“Big night, and you’re already looking put together in that sexy way of yours.  It’s going to take a lot of willpower not to drag you into this room and have my way with you.”  Chris pouted down at him.  “You are so cruel to me.”

Phichit chuckled  His grin curled across his lips and his eyes locked with Chris’s.  “Oh, I can promise if you’re good, I’ll more than make it up to you.”  He came up on tiptoe to whisper just exactly how he would make good on his promise.  The sudden dilation of Chris’s eyes and shudder that ran through him promised that he would more than satisfy his partner.  

“Ah, precious, you’re too good to me.”  Chris hummed out a content little purr, leaning into kiss at Phichit’s throat.  “I’m the luckiest guy in the world.”

It was just a light tickle and Phichit giggled.  “Yes, and you will be if you stop long enough to let me get through this night.”  He pushed at Chris weakly, really wanting nothing more than for them to have a quickie up against the wall here.  

Chris did pull away, looking down at him with a gaze full of heat.  “Anything to be able to go home with you tonight and get my prize.”

It got a bit hotter under his collar and there was a moment where he couldn’t decide if he was going to or not.  Phichit really just wanted to kiss him for the next few hours and just make certain that he was a boneless mess.  Maybe he could actually make it hard for Chris to leave in the morning.  Just stay in bed all day.

Chris pressed a light kiss to Phichit’s cheek and his smile was still a mystery to Phichit.  Sara and Yuuri said that it was adoring, that Chris really did feel something for him.  He couldn’t bring himself to be too hopeful.  What if it was just a momentary thing?  What if it wasn’t meant to last?  He just wanted to be happy with what he had.  

“I’ll let you finish.  The rest of them want to start changing as well.”  Chris let go and went to the door, to peek out and tell everyone that it was clear.  “I volunteered to make sure that you were decent.”  Chris gave him a cheeky grin and went to collect his own clothes for the evening.

“Make sure or undo all of my hard work?” Phichit teased.  He turned to the mirror and went to finish his hair.  A bit of gel and a comb let everything fall back nicely.

“Well, clearly you weren’t going to let me undo everything so I suppose I did my duty.” Chris chuckled and put down his case by the mirror.  “Sara just arrived and she’s going to be helping at the welcome table to get everyone checked in.  It still amazes me how fast you were able to fill this party after all of the students.”

Phichit reached up to pat Chris’s cheek with a smirk.  “That’s just one of my many tricks, my dear.  I’ve got more where that came from.”  He turned just before Chris tried to sneak in another kiss.  He fixed the sleeves of his dress shirt and reached for his vest.  He always loved how nice the soft pink dress shirt looked and with the white on navy pinstripe dress pants and vest, he was going to look like the confident and powerful businessman that he knew he was.

 

*

 

“Thank you, everyone, for coming to our first Chulanont Academy mixer.  This celebration is to recognize all of the work you’ve done to come this far.  It isn’t just about learning how to promote your art or your music.  It’s about the endless hours of practice and all of the success and failures that made you into the artist you are today.  You are coming together because you want to work with other individuals that you respect and admire.  It’s time to break out of the corporate shell and find a new way to be happy with your career.  All of you deserve a round of applause for everything you’re doing.”

The crowd came alive, clapping and cheering.  Phichit could see the variety of people in the room, all kinds of different professionals and those just getting started.  There were more than a few people that were offering encouragement to those around them, patting each other on the back and swapping handshakes.  The room was buzzing with happiness and potential.  Phichit couldn’t be more proud of himself for finding a way to bring all of this together.  

“Please, take this opportunity to talk with each other and make new introductions.  Tonight can be what helps you through the door and into what will truly build your future careers.  If at any point this evening you don’t know who to talk to, please speak with myself or any of my associates throughout the room.  They’ll be wearing the red name tags, like mine.  Opportunities like this shouldn’t be wasted, so don’t leave here without one new contact to add to your list.”  

Phichit put aside the microphone and hopped down the small stage that had been set up for the event.  Several students immediately stopped him to thank him for the classes and he was passed along from group to group talking about his favorite subject, social media.  Everyone was happy and excited to get started on their next steps, several of them asked for his opinion on what they should focus on.  

Before he knew it, an hour had passed and Yuuri was appearing at his side as he finished speaking with one group.  He handed him a soda and Phichit was grateful.  He took a long sip and felt restored already.  “You looked like you could use that,” Yuuri said, watching the glass empty quickly.  

“This really is working.  I almost can’t believe I didn’t try to do this sort of thing years ago.”  Phichit still felt ready to skip or bounce or shake or just generally be an excited kid.  Talking with everyone only made the feeling stronger.  

“I know, but we wouldn’t have ended up where we are now if you had, so I hope you don’t mind that I like that we took the long way.”  Yuuri chuckled at Phichit’s enthusiasm and gave him a quick one armed hug around the shoulders.  “Need anything to eat, or maybe a water?”

“Oh, well, probably another water.”  Phichit followed Yuuri to the waitstaff that were supplying just basic drinks to everyone that evening.

“You were right about us though, I’ve had a few people asking about the app line that we started.  You’ll have a few more offers coming in soon.”  Yuuri shook his head in surprise.  He was always amazed at how quickly Phichit’s new ideas could take off.  Phichit knew how to read the buzz around him and how to manipulate it into something that they could benefit from.  

“I’ve already mentioned to Georgi to look for a few new faces that might be good for us to have on call.  I can’t do another four weeks like this last one.”  Yuuri snorted.  He had been against the timeline as soon as he had heard about it, but Phichit was stubborn.  Once he had his idea, he wouldn’t stop until it had reached its potential.  Phichit was right about this though, so that was all that mattered. 

“With this first run done, I’m not going to feel bad passing it onto Guang Hong.  He’s going to really be able to run with it and expand it beyond what we’ve started.  I’m going to focus on converting it into a digital course next.  That’s something that I can take my time with.  These classes will build buzz for us so that when we’re ready to get them online everyone will be running to us.”  

Phichit grinned.  He had a specific goal in mind: having a stable passive income meant that they could have much more flexibility.  Yuuri and Viktor were going to need as much time at home as possible, so this would let them be able to work from home and generally work less.  They could trim the client list and they all could focus on their personal projects.  That part was his little surprise for them all.  

“Well, you should get back to the crowds.  I see more than one set of eyes trying not to look like they’re staring at you.”  Sure enough, over Yuuri’s shoulder were several students and potential customers hoping for some of his time.  Phichit patted Yuuri’s shoulder and thanked him for the water before diving back into the fray.

 

*

 

Chris had stuck with Mila for a while at the beginning of the evening.  Several people had gone up to her to congratulate her on her success and to ask questions about how she had been handling her own music for the last few years.  Mila was very happy to answer questions and there were more than a few things that Chris didn’t know about in the discussion.  Mila also made it a point to introduce Chris to everyone which was nice.  He’d swapped information with several other musicians so he could check them out and vice versa.  There were a few that seemed extra eager to hear his new track that DJ Beka produced and Chris felt a faint tinge of nervousness at that.

Not wanting to simply hang on Mila the whole evening, Chris excused himself to collect something to drink and see if he could follow Phichit’s advice and find someone for himself to talk to.  Water in hand, he turned and almost stepped on an excitable blonde boy.  

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.  You didn’t spill anything, did you?  I can get you another drink.  Really I’m so sorry!”  Everything came out at top speed and Chris almost didn’t understand what he was saying.  All he could see was the kid trying to find a napkin and a fire engine red streak in the front of blond hair.  What in the world did he run into and how did this kid get in here?

“I don’t need a napkin.  It’s all right.  You can calm down really.”  Chris decided to put down his water glass for safety and reached for the kid’s shoulder in hopes of slowing him down a bit.  That seemed to do the trick, except now he was staring down at a huge pair of eyes and a gaping mouth.

“Oh!  Oh!  Oh!  You’re Christophe!  I didn’t know you’d be here.  This is so cool.  I follow you on Insta and you’re really awesome.  I loved the video you did with Mila.  When are you going to do more music on your own?  Everything you’ve shared so far has really been great.”  Did this kid actually stop to breathe?  Chris took a moment to try to comprehend just what it was that was being said to him before he realized that this kid actually was a fan.

“Uh, thanks.  I’m glad you like my singing.”  Chris attempted to address the kid, wanting to ask his name or just generally be polite.  But before anything further came out of his mouth, the little blond was running again.  

“Why are you here?  Did you come with Mila?  Are you looking you going to start releasing music soon?  I really hope you’ll do more covers.  You really are great when it comes to picking music.”

Was there a polite way to exit out of this conversation?  Chris started looking for an exit.  This kid wouldn’t stop talking.  Why won’t he stop talking?  

“Oh no.  I did it again.”  The kid suddenly stopped and looked petrified.  “I’m really sorry.  I’m super nervous to do this.  I’ll stop talking.  Sorry.”

Chris looked back at him curiously.  “Why are you nervous?  I’m not really anyone important.  I just play the guitar and sometimes share it online.”

The kid took a slow breath and when he spoke again, his voice was calm and even paced.  “I’m trying to make a career change.  I didn’t exactly have a career before really, but I’m trying this out without having any experience or extra help from friends.  I just work the register at the Disney Store in Times Square.  I took Phichit’s assistant classes because I’ve got a bit of a business background.  I took some classes in college, but I didn’t really have a major.  I just thought that I could-you know-help out some of the people that I like to follow online.  It seems like it would be fun to be apart of that and I already like sharing stuff online.  I’ve done work on a couple fan blogs and whatnot.  I really loved learning it all, too.”

It was precious to hear all of that. (But he isn’t a child?  Wow, his baby face is worse than Phichit’s.)  Chris’s worry vanished as the kid explained himself.  By the end, the kid was smiling and he held out a hand to Chris.  “I forgot to introduce myself.  My name is Minami.  Minami Kenjirou.”

Chris took his hand and shook it firmly.  An idea was forming in his head and already he could hear Viktor’s disgruntled voice telling him that this was a terrible idea.  He had wanted to find someone to help him take on the intimidating work of handling his social media.  Minami sounded a bit like him and that was comforting in its own way.  He didn’t need to impress someone that was already used to it all.  He didn’t need to feel pressured because Minami was starting where he was.  

“It’s really good to meet you.  Let me try to answer the first question that I can remember for you, okay?” Chris chuckled and collected his water.  “I’m looking forward to being able to start to record more on my own.  Right now though, I’m trying to juggle my work with music.  I don’t know if I’m doing a great job, but I want to change that.”

Minami’s eyes lit up.  “Really?  That sounds amazing.  Is that why you’re here?  You must be looking for some advice, right?  You should take Phichit’s class, too.”

It took Chris a moment to understand why that suggestion would have occurred to Minami, but he realized that he and Phichit had never hidden that they were dating, but they never advertised it either.  At this point, Chris didn’t think that Minami would accept the news of their dating with anything but another nervous babble so he tried to decide how else he could answer him. 

“I think I’m going to be better off not doing all of the work myself.  I can handle posting on Instagram and I should be on Twitter, too.  The rest though, it’s actually really intimidating.”  Chris shrugged and brushed aside the voice in his head warning him that he was supposed to be looking for someone with a lot of experience.  Viktor would take one look at Minami and eat him alive.  Maybe that’s why Chris liked him so much.  “I need help to do this.”

A slow dawning crossed Minami’s face and his eyes grew wide.  “Really?”  He looked around quickly.  He turned back and beamed at him like Chris was giving him the greatest Christmas gift ever.  “I mean, I could.  No, I mean, I would really love for you to consider me!”

Chris put an arm around Minami’s shoulders.  “Let’s talk shop then.  I want you to tell me what you really think about what I’ve been doing so far.”

 

*

  
  


For an evening as successful as this one, it seemed that there had to be some consequences. It couldn’t just be a time to be proud of all of the work he and his friends put into their business.  Well, maybe that was a bit dramatic, but in walked trouble.  A new guest to the party bypassed the check-in table with the air of someone with a firm belief in his own importance.

He had the charm and good looks of a missing Hemsworth brother.  His sweet smile turned more than a few heads while he scanned the crowd.  It took only a few moments for him to find just who he was looking for.  His long strides taking him right to Phichit.  

“There you are, Phichit.  This is quite the turn out.  I’m glad that I came.  Why don’t you introduce me to one of the-oh what did you call them?  Helpers, or something, right?  I need to hand over some of that extra labor so that I can focus on my painting more.  They’ll get a lot of experience and exposure working for me.”

Phichit turned slowly to the sound of that familiar arrogance, growing pale.  “Ethan?  How-how did you find out about this?  Why are you here?”

“Don’t be silly, you weren’t hiding this little party.  I heard about it from Williem or was it Erik.  It doesn’t matter, you’re supposed to be helping these students of yours get experience, right?” Ethan was self-assured and clearly had his head up his ass.  

“Ethan, this was an invitation only event.  And the people here that I’ve taught are looking to be hired on as a social media assistant.  That means that they’ll be paid for their work.  You don’t do this sort of thing for free.”  Phichit frowned.

“I know the host, I don’t need an invitation.  And don’t be silly, of course, they work for free.  Didn’t you?  You certainly shared my art with everyone on your phone.  I was getting more attention than ever thanks to your hard work.”  Ethan waved a hand and laughed.  Phichit could feel his stomach rolling.  What was going on here?  

“I didn’t work for you.  We dated.  What are you talking about?”  There was a growing roar in Phichit’s ears and he didn’t know if he could keep standing for much longer.  

“Oh, yes.  That was what you called it, wasn’t it?  It was so charming, especially when you asked me to move in with you.”  Ethan laughed, letting his perfect head fall back and his hair wave with the light shakes of his body.  Even saying such cruel things, he was still so perfect and charming.  “Of course, you know that you simply aren’t dating material.  And your apartment?  Oh, goodness, no.  Why would you think anyone would want to move in with you?”

The tears were coming, it was like reliving that horrible moment all over again.  Only this time there was an audience.  Not that he could see or hear anything around him.  All he could hear was that horrible echo “not dating material” and “why would anyone want to move in with you”.  Chris was going to figure this out, too wasn’t he?  It was only a matter of time.  He’d be able to be a musician on his own and he’d leave Phichit, too.  His vision started to grow fuzzy and he was going to be on his back in a moment.

Except there was suddenly a firm arm around his waist, holding him up and pulling him in.  Phichit blinked a few times until Chris became clear.  He was smiling at him, that sweet wonderful smile he’d given him while he was changing earlier.  The same one that he’d been smiling for the last few weeks.  

“There you are, P.  I was looking for you.”  Chris was giving Phichit a moment to collect himself and Phichit felt a rush of relief.  He knew that he was saving the day, right?  Chris gave his side a little squeeze and Phichit hoped that was a confirmation.  

“I’m sorry, Chris.  I was just telling, umm, Ethan that he needs to have an invitation to be here.”  Phichit took a deep breath and leaned further into Chris’s side.  

“Oh, that again.  You’re being ridiculous with these rules.  What’s the point of this event if you’re not going to help anyone.” Ethan crossed his arms.  He was starting to pout in this ridiculously childish manner.  It had always made Phichit trip over himself to fix it.  

“Rules are in place for a reason.  First of all, we’re nearly at capacity and I don’t think you would be so foolish as to bring the fire marshal down on this event.  Second of all, the event isn’t intended to be a place to find help.  It’s an opportunity for creators and those interested in social media marketing to come together and get to know one another.  I think you were misinformed about what this event is about.” Chris kept a polite smile, but there was an edge of steel in his voice.  

“You must be one of Phichit’s new employees.  He’s very nice on the eyes, Phichit, dear.  I understand why you keep him around.”  Ethan gave Phichit a brief eyebrow waggle and a wink.  “Now, I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding.  My name is Ethan LeBreux.  Phichit and I have known each other for years.  His work in promoting my art has been an incredible help all this time.  I know that he’s very busy now and I simply believe he should find me someone to replace him.”

“Replace him?  Oh, I think I’m starting to understand.  Your art is failing, isn’t it?  You can’t seem to find people to come to your gallery showings and you can’t seem to keep any collectors.  It’s very hard when you’re locked away in your studio all day long to make time to speak with everyone.  The life of an artist is such a taxing one.”  Chris nodded his head solemnly.  He almost sounded as if he was actually sympathizing with Ethan.  What in the world was going on?

“Yes?”  Ethan wasn’t certain of what Chris was trying to imply beyond their straightforward meaning.  “Yes.  It is very difficult to create art and be expected to go out and sell it.  It’s absurd.”

“There should be a line around the block of people willing to do all of your administrative work, your bookkeeping, your marketing, contacting galleries, all of the little things that stop you from being able to bare your soul on a canvas.”  Chris passed Phichit over to Minami who had been just a few steps behind.  The other man grinned at Phichit and put Phichit’s arm around his shoulders.  He looked like he was having fun.  

Chris came up to Ethan and put a hand on his shoulder.  “I’m right, aren’t I?”

“Absolutely.  You know exactly what my problem is.  So let’s get this done.”  Ethan crossed his arms with a satisfied smirk.  

“Sara, how many patrons do you have on Patreon?” Chris asked, not turning to see her.  

Phichit spotted her across the small circle that had formed around them.  Her eyes were dark and she was nearly shaking with her rage.  She had never liked Ethan and it seemed he was doing no favors for himself now.  

“As of yesterday it was 518.”

“Mila, how many copies of your last self-produced album did you sell?”

“Just about 15,000.  Course there were about 800,000 downloads.”  Mila looked ready to laugh, watching the show with unrestrained glee.

Chris turned and pointed to another artist that had taken Phichit’s class.  “How many paintings are you making in a month versus what you sell?”

“I finished about 40 different paintings and filled a new sketchbook.  I sold 10, but after I applied what Phichit taught us I sold 6 more in four days.”

Chris pointed out someone else, a sculptor, and asked a similar question.  Then another musician, a violinist, who was building her YouTube channel and raised her viewership 10 times in just three weeks.  Last was a writer, who was proud to report that she was going to start offering her newest Patrons digital copies of her newest book in just a week.

“Did any of you have someone do the work for you?”  Even those that hadn’t been asked were quick to shake their heads no.  Chris finally turned back to Ethan.  “Well, that’s strange.  You seem to be the only one that thinks that they’re entitled to having the work done for them.  That’s very, very strange.  I wonder why everyone else here could create just as much as they build themselves a sustainable business.”

Chris looked puzzled, but everyone else around him looked more than disappointed.  There were a few that were clearly disgusted by the arrogance that Ethan was displaying.  Phichit had to cover his mouth.  He wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or he wanted to cry.  He hadn’t ever thought it was possible for Ethan to be shut down so beautifully.  He was back peddling, stepping away from Chris and looking warily at the crowd.  

Chris didn’t let him go far.  He grabbed him by the shirt and leaned in to whisper to him.  Ethan’s eyes grew wide and he scrambled to get away.  “I’m not Phichit’s employee.  He’s my partner and you’ll be wise to never ever come near him again.  The only one that isn’t ‘boyfriend material’ is clearly you.  You should leave immediately because no one wants you to keep stinking up this place with your over-inflated ego.”

Ethan sputtered and tried to find someone to support him, but everyone around him was heckling and calling for him to leave.  The only course of action left to him was to leave.  He turned tailed and rushed out of the hall as quickly as he could.  

As soon as Ethan was pushing his way through the crowd, Sara let out a holler and ran to hug Chris.  “My hero!  Ooooo, what did you say to him that made him so white?  That was absolutely beautiful.”

Chris laughed and returned the hug for a moment before pulling away.  “I may have mentioned something about his brush being bigger than his micro penis and he should run if he ever wanted to use it again.”

Sara hit his shoulder and laughed.  “You’re amazing!”  Mila came up and patted him on the back joining in on the encouragement.  

“Are you okay, Mr. Chulanont?” Minami was trying to make sure that Phichit was doing all right.  He was still mostly holding him at this point.  

“I-I think I should sit down.” Phichit started towards the nearest table.  Once there, Yuuri pushed a glass of water into his hand.  Georgi was checking his forehead and trying to determine if he was getting too cold.  He didn’t feel cold, but his head was spinning from everything that happened so fast.  He couldn’t believe what he had just seen.  One moment Ethan was forcing him to relive his worst memory and the next Chris was sending him away, red faced and completely defeated.  

“P?  Are you okay?” Chris stood in front of him and slowly lowered to one knee.  “Hey, it’s okay.  He’s gone.”

“You…”  Phichit trailed off unable to find the words.  The little demon that had been with him was struggling to keep reminding him that he wasn’t worth it, but then there was Chris saying that he was his partner.  A partner?  He was someone’s partner.  He flung out his arms and hugged Chris around the shoulders tightly.  

“He’s a fool.”  Chris’s voice was gentle and soft by his ear.  He returned the hug tightly and stroked Phichit’s hair.  “He’s just selfish and demanding.  He doesn’t want any of the beautiful things you have to offer because he’s obsessed with himself.  I’m so happy that he doesn’t because that means I can have them with you.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes.  I’m looking forward to us writing our own story and building a life together.”

Phichit pulled back and looked at Chris’s glowing face.  He couldn’t be lying.  Not like this.  Not while he was looking at him like Phichit could be  **the** one.  Phichit quickly wiped at his face.  “I am, too.”

“Do you think you can manage for the rest of the evening?” Chris looked him over worriedly, making Phichit just feel loved. 

It was easier to smile than it had been before.  “Yeah.  You’ll stay with me?”

“There’s no other place I want to be.”

 

*

 

Chris stretched out on his back across the bed.  He was almost completely a puddle there and Phichit hovered over him, lazily tracing patterns across Chris’s chest.  Chris brought up a hand and carded fingers through Phichit’s hair.  After their long day, Chris felt this blissful swell of emotions.  He was so proud of Phichit and all of his hard work.  There was a great deal of satisfaction that came with shutting down a black mark in Phichit’s past.  He was on the right track to get started recording and sharing his music with the help of a potential assistant.  His life was really coming together.  He could actually pinpoint a time in the next couple of months when he could leave his job at the restaurant.  To top it all off, he was here in this bed with the man that he loved.  

“Chris?  What’s wrong, sweetie?  You’re-you look like you’re going to cry.”  Phichit was immediately worried.  The sweet man was quick to pet Chris’s hair and stroke his cheek.  “Tell me what’s wrong?”

Chris chuckled and tried to blink back the happy tears.  He didn’t want to upset him, but he was just so happy.  “Nothing is wrong.  I just really love you.”

Phichit sat up and brought his hands to his mouth.  He stared at Chris for a few moments and it made Chris nervous.  Why was he doing this?  Should he have not said that?  Was Phichit not actually there yet?  Oh wait, no!  No, he was crying now.  Chris shot up and hugged Phichit tightly.  

“Don’t cry. I’m so sorry.  I’m sorry.  Good grief.  I shouldn’t have said that.  I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t upset me, and never ever think you shouldn’t say that!”  Phichit pushed Chris away so they could look at one another.  “I just wasn’t expecting that.  I...I really love you, too, Chris.”

Phichit didn’t stop crying, but he was smiling and Chris wondered if a part of him that had been broken by heartless idiots was finally on the mend.  He made certain to kiss away each tear and he held onto Phichit tightly.  

“I love you so much, Phichit.”


	6. You Don't Know How Lovely You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris has a surprise for Phichit and let's finally see that music video!

With the video finished, Leo asked Sara and Mila to host a small gathering for them to see the video first.  Phichit insisted on having a proper party to honor all of them for everything they did and spent an hour on the phone making magic happen.  The friends reveal was a more important gathering though.  

Otabek and Yuri were there with everyone and Chris was surprised to see how quick Yuri was to corner Yuuri.  The pair seemed to have a long history and it was strange to see the mixture of respect and spitting cat that Yuri was displaying.  Otabek didn’t seem to think anything of it, but Chris was dying to get the full story.

Sara came to his rescue, leaning over from where she was pouring drinks to whisper.  “Yuuri is part of the reason why Yurio dances.  Yuuri left a company to go to school and eventually work for Phichit.  He decided that he didn’t want to perform.  It’s more important to Yuuri to just dance.  Little Yuri gets frustrated because he wants to have a chance to perform with Yuuri.  Or at least that’s what Mila and I think.”

Chris nodded slowly, looking at Yuuri with the new information.  He could understand how Yuri felt.  He’d been dancing and practicing beside Yuuri for almost a year now and he itched to do something with him.  He hadn’t really considered combining singing and dancing, but now that the idea was there, he couldn’t let it go. 

Sara jostled his shoulder with a laugh.  Right, he was supposed to be helping to pass out the drinks.  He grabbed two and turned to bring them to Bobby and Minami.  The pair had settled together once they both realized that they were in the presence of those they equally fanboyed over.  They chatted excitedly in hushed voices, and swapped their information.  It was sweet to see them both finding a new friend.

“Thanks so much for inviting me, Chris.”  Bobby accepted his drink with a nod.  “I can’t believe I get to see this with all of you.  I’m so excited.  It’s going to be amazing.”

“Do you think that Leo will mind if I ask to watch it again when we’re done?  I’ve got this cool idea and I want to put something together for you both,” Minami asked.  He already had a notebook with a list of notes prepared.  

“Don’t worry, I’m sure Leo will be ready to watch it at least another 100 times tonight if you’d like.”  Chris chuckled and went back to the get the last of the drinks.

“Viktor, dear, really stop touching!” Mila was snapping under the strain of trying to set up the screen for the projector that would be playing the video for them.  

“But Mila, you could just lift this and it’ll be perfect”  Viktor tried to reach for the projector, but Mila grabbed his wrist before he could do anything further.  

“Your hubby loaned us this and I’m not going to have you accidentally breaking it.  Now go sit down.”  Mila bristled but gave him a light shove to the sofa.  

Viktor pouted in a way no grown man ever should.  It was incredible that this was the same man that could talk taxes and contracts with the best of them.  “I wouldn’t break it.”

Mila just snorted and finished setting up the screen.  Sharing a brief snicker, Sara handed Chris the last two glasses for him and Phichit.  Chris put down the glasses on the low coffee table so that he could slide into the oversized bean bag chair with Phichit.  His nose was practically to his phone, but he quickly put it aside in favor of going nose first into Chris’s neck.  They curled up against one another with content smiles.  

“UGH!  No PDA in this house.”  Mila laughed before tossing a pillow at them.  Chris caught it before it could break something in time to see Sara launch herself at Mila, kissing across her face.  

“No PDA, you say?” Phichit laughed, content to not move from his spot against Chris’s side.  

“Maybe you should get us started Leo,” Guang Hong suggested before Mila could escalate things further as she liked to.  It could be a food fight or a pillow fight in just a few moments.  Guang Hong was just a party pooper really.

“Oh, well, yeah.”  Leo stood up and cleared his throat.  Yuri took the hint to leave Yuuri alone for five minutes and went to stand with Otabek.  Yuuri settled in Viktor’s lap and whispered briefly to him to finally rid the room of that ridiculous pout.  Now that he had everyone’s attention, Leo laughed nervously.  

“I tried to say that this was Chris’s video and make him say something, but he’s been firm that I should take the credit here.  I couldn’t have done this without all of you guys though, so I feel like this is our video.  So, yeah, I hope you like it.”

Guang Hong gave Leo a quick squeeze around the waist and a peck on the cheek as he sat back on the floor with him.  Yuuri brought up the video on the projector and hit the play button.  

 

~/~/~

 

A pulsing drumbeat filled the air, slow and steady for a few beats.  It was joined softly by the gentle hum of a violin, crawling slowly and jerking through an extended opening.  It sounds like false starts and nervous energy.  The world jerks between black and white and color, letting your eyes find focus on a prone figure lying on his back on the floor.  Dirty blond hair scattered around his head in a mess, filled in the blanks of his empty teal eyes.  He looks hollowed out and lost.  Alone in a dark room that looks like a battle had taken place, Yuri is the only point of calm.

Yuri jerks up suddenly, raising his chest with the pulse of the song.  The color finally settles in the room.  Gravely lyrics sounding oddly pleasant against the messy house.  His body a graceful arch as he comes to sit up, long legs rigid out in front of him.  His face crumbles with the weight of everything around him.   _ Come up to meet you, tell you I’m sorry. _  It was so easy to hear the sound of his voice, the one that was missing.  A dancer’s grace lifted him from the floor with flowing movements, telling his story with the arch of his arm, the point of his toe.  

A pirouette told the story of their first meeting.  Laughing as they unexpectedly bumped into each other, each of them not what the other was looking for.  Dazzlingly green eyes sparkling as Chris reached out a hand to help Yuri up.   _ Tell you I need you.  Tell you I set you apart. _  Leaps told the story about great debates of blue and black versus white and gold.  Laughing over coffee or hand feeding popcorn while watching a movie.   _ Oh, let’s go back to the start.   _ Arching his back he rocked his body to the memory of sweet kisses and warm embraces.  Chris’s eyes gentle and warm with a deep seed of affection that would sweep anyone off their feet.   _ Running in circles.  Coming up tails. _

It was with a heart-wrenching sob that Yuri comes to a halt in the middle of the room.  He picks up the nearest object, one of his shoes, and throws it across the room.  The second shoe is flung into a picture frame, sending shattered glass out in a wild spray.   _ Nobody said this was easy.   _ Time seems to slow as he has a tantrum of throwing and tearing apart his already messy apartment.   _ Oh it’s such a shame for us to part. _  Nothing is safe from his heartbroken rage until he finds a fluffy stuffed cat in the rubble of his home.  This precious item is pulled close and he sobs into the fur.   _ No one ever said it would be this hard. _

Slowly pulling away, Yuri runs a hand across the head of the cat.  He doesn’t run or cry from the memory of when he received the toy.  Chris had surprised him at home one afternoon.  It had been such a long day and he was napping on the sofa.  He awoke to a gentle fur brushing against his cheek and his eyes fluttered open curiously.   _ I was just guessing at numbers and figures. _ Chris was seated beside him on the sofa laughing, making his heart feel lighter than he could have imagined.  Yuri sat up and hugged Chris tightly around the neck with a laugh.   _ Pulling the puzzles apart. _  He turned to the cat and hugged it close as well, giving Chris a sweet and appreciative smile.

He sighed for a moment, cuddling the cat close and rocking to the violin heavy in the air.  It’s so easy to bring up those memories of happiness and to move across the room full of love and light.   _ Questions of science, science and progress.   _ Yuri spins and sways, the stuffed cat still makes a good stand in for the one that he’s longing for.  He can imagine for a moment, that he’s just waiting for the end of the day.  The sound of the door opening at the end of the hall and the cheerful “I’m home” filling him with all of the joy that he could ever wish for.  

The door opens in his mind and there’s Chris smiling happily at the end of the hall.  He puts up his coat on the rack and drops his keys on the small table by the door.   _ Tell me you love me.  Come back and haunt me.  _  Yuri freezes and his eyes widen happily in the middle of the destroyed room.  It’s true.  He’s home now.  He’s really come back.  Chris heads down the hall towards the kitchen and Yuri follows him like a little puppy.  He dances around the mess and around his partner, looking brighter than his tear stained face had been for days.   _ Oh, and I rush to the start. _

Chris pulls out the kettle and begins to prepare tea, seemingly listening to Yuri as he tells him about his day.  It’s as if there’s no mess around them.  The dark room is lit by this golden man who is just making tea and smiling.   _ Running in circles, chasing our tails.   _ Yuri puts down the cat and comes up behind Chris, eager to hug him and he pauses for just a moment.  Looking at his slender frame, hunched over slightly at its work.   _ Coming back as we are. _

He launches forward only to hit the counter, Chris no longer there and the room dark once more.   _ Nobody said it was easy.  _  Yuri spun around, but there wasn’t a sign of his partner anywhere.  He headed out of the kitchen in search of him.  Chris had to still be here.  He had to be.   _ Nobody said it was easy. _  There was a light coming from the living room and Yuri found Chris seated on the sofa with a book on the arm of the chair.  He looked up at Yuri and smiled.

Yuri stumbled across the room, random debris holding him up and preventing him from getting very far.  He finally fell in a heap at Chris’s feet, panting heavily for a moment before looking up at him.   _ Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions.   _ Chris smiled and mouthed “I love you” before vanishing again.  Yuri let out a cry of frustration, hitting the sofa several times.  No, this couldn’t be happening.  He was here with him.  He was here.

Yuri stood up and spun around, but his vision was overtaken with the flashing lights of an ambulance.  He held his head, jerking his body sharply from side to side.  No, no, no.  Not now.  Not again.   _ Nobody said it was easy. _  He lifted his head and screamed out a silent cry into the room, but it did nothing to stop the memory from being called up once again.   _ Nobody said it was easy. _

It had all moved like short clips blurring into one long video of memory.  Ambulance sirens, police officers coming to the apartment, the sickly smell of a hospital where he ran down the seemingly endless hall.  Yuri reached the door to a hospital room and the world went white. 

_ No one ever said it would be so hard. _

Yuri stumbled to the doorway and for a fleeting moment, there was Chris again.  He could hear his beloved voice cooing out a song.  It wasn’t real though, was it?  It was just a memory.  A ghost out to haunt him, teasing him with what he had lost.  Chris came closer, but he didn’t seem to see Yuri.  He walked straight through him into their bedroom.  He knew this memory, the pair of them laughing and rolling in bed.  Kisses were fleeting and sweetly saying I love you with each gentle brush.  

_ I’m going back to the start. _

Yuri turned to the living room once more and there on the table was the truth.  A newspaper, surprisingly untouched in all of the mess, sat on the coffee table.  He had to move aside a bit of broken glass and part of a book, but the headline was clear; Local musician dies in hit and run car crash.  There was a photo of Chris beside the text and underneath was a picture of his destroyed car in the middle of an intersection.

He’s alone now.  The violin and drum fade away and just the faint ghost of Chris’s singing is left.  This is the end and Yuri is alone with his pain and his sadness.  He sags down onto the floor with a sigh as everything slowly fades to black.

 

~/~/~

 

The video faded to black before going through a softer instrumental cut of the music for the short credits.  The room was silent for just a moment and Chris glanced over at Yuri.  They hadn’t had the opportunity to see the final video before today and seeing them work together was incredible.  Yuri grinned and winked at Chris just as the room exploded.

“Oh my gosh!  Leo!  That was incredible!”

“You guys are amazing!”

“That version of the song was perfect!”

“I can’t believe that you killed him at the end!”

That last part was Minami who was crying into Bobby’s shoulder.  The room chuckled and kept talking, debating what was the best part of the video.  Chris looked down at Phichit, who was unusually quiet.  He was smiling through tears though.

“I knew that was exactly what you needed to be doing in your life.”  Phichit looked up at him and hugged him tightly.  “I’m so proud of you, Chris.”

His eyes stung with incoming tears and he hugged Phichit back.  His heart hammered in his chest against the matching one against him.  There weren’t any words for the swirl of feeling threatening to spill over inside of him.  Phichit’s faith in him had never faltered for a moment.  It was silly that it had taken him this long to get to this part, wasn’t it?  His pride and disbelief had stopped him from ever going forward.  

“Thank you, P.  I’m going to do everything that I can to keep proving you right.”  Chris pressed his lips to Phichit’s cheek to seal his promise.  

Viktor was at their side, pulling Chris up to his feet.  “It’s time to celebrate.  I brought the champagne.  Let’s toast.”  

Chris laughed and let himself be pulled over to collect a glass.  Everyone swarmed in and collectively raised their glasses.  To the success of this video and the beginning of new things.  To always working together.  To good friends, may they always laugh together and only occasionally have a pillow fight.

 

*

 

Mila and Sara were going to try and keep everyone for hours still, celebrating Leo’s first personal video in years.  Otabek and Yuri excused themselves early, not wanting to be stuck there when everyone got drunk.  Chris excused them with a weak excuse of yoga class in the morning, collecting Phichit and their coats.  If Phichit was surprised, he didn’t show it while they were there.  

The city was just starting to come to life as the last traces of the sun faded behind the buildings.  They walked for a while in silence, fingers interlaced and snug.  They bumped elbows as they came together several times like there was a magnet inside of them and they couldn’t resist its pull.  It made them laugh as if they knew it would just happen again in a few moments.  

“P, let’s just walk for a while.”  Chris pulled Phichit away from the apartment and towards the greenery of a nearby park.  Phichit seemed confused, but they both weren’t in a hurry for the day to just end in bed.  A hum of excitement and happiness pushing them to wander and enjoy their time together.  

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately.”  Chris put a hand on his small cross body bag.  He didn’t usual carrying it, but he needed it for something special today.  

“Oh?” Phichit turned his dark eyes up to him and Chris gave himself just a brief moment to hold this picture in his memory.  He would want to pull this memory up again and again in the future.  

“It was almost two months ago that Mila said something to me that changed the way I think about things.  I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out how I could do something about it.  I felt like I needed to do something huge.  Like there was some sort of perfect way that I could express this feeling, this potential just like how you had done so for me.”  

Chris stopped, taking Phichit’s hands in both of his.  He hadn’t planned it, but they stopped by a fountain and it was just like a romance movie.  It was ridiculous, but he was sure it would mean something to his sappy boyfriend.  

“I realized that I was already doing it.  Sort of.  All that was left was to make my intentions very clear.”  

Phichit’s eyes grew wide as Chris dug into his bag for a moment.  He pulled out a pair of matching gold cuff bracelets.  They were only a couple of inches wide with a window in the center revealing an elaborate braid of red ribbon and cord.  It wasn’t exactly what Phichit was expecting, but this wasn’t a typical romance.  This was supposed to be their story and their romance.  

“Phichit, I am completely and totally in love with you.  My life could never be complete again without you in it.  Your complete faith in me from the moment you laid eyes on me has built me up and given me the strength to finally step out of my mountain of rejection letters.  I’m going to be successful because of you because you came to that bar and you couldn’t stop yourself from telling me the truth.”

Chris put one of the cuffs on Phichit’s wrist.  “Now, it’s my turn to be everything you need.  I can’t give you a flashy wedding.  The idea is ridiculous to me.  I love you, and you know it.  Our friends have seen us make out.  There’s no need for us to have a party to celebrate it.  If you want free stuff, we’ll just make a housewarming registry.”

Phichit sputtered, looking at the cuff and then back to Chris.  A finger landed on Phichit’s lips lightly, he wasn’t finished yet and he was just getting to the good parts.

“I’m not going to have kids with you.  We’ve got three hamsters right now.  You treat them better than you treat kids.  Maybe we can have a cat if it doesn’t want to kill the hamsters.”

Chris slid the other cuff on his wrist and reached into his bag again.  This time he drew out a long length of red ribbon, the same color that was on the cuffs.  

“I am going to be with you every second that I can.  I want us to have a place to call our own.  I want to go on adventures with you.  I want to keep exploring this city, this country and every country out there.  I want us to have our own story.”

It was a slow moment as Phichit had to face the fact that he was potentially giving up some of his oldest daydreams.  Chris was patient though, he had to be because if Phichit turned him down then all of this was for nothing.  

“What did Mila tell you?” Phichit looked down at the cuff, running his hand along the metal.

“She said that we both had these fairytales in our heads.  The stories we’d always been told.  The ones everyone else lived out around us.  We kept running to those stories instead of realizing that there wasn’t just one way to live our lives.”

Chris wondered if he had looked about the same when Mila had said that to him.  Phichit gasped, suddenly holding the bracelet tightly.  

“P, you and I like to go out and have dinner and a movie.  To take a train to Long Island just to walk down the boardwalk for five minutes and go home.  We’re workaholics and while it isn’t fun, we can be apart for days on end without the world ending.  I know you’ve been avoiding those emails about taking your lectures and classes across the country.  I could be out performing with other musicians all over.  Our story is just getting started and I don’t want to decide what it has to be and just be it with you.”

Phichit flushed and sputtered.  “Are you sure this isn’t a marriage proposal?  You’re talking about forever.”

“Yeah, I might be, but since we’re being ourselves, I thought we could still do something romantic and meaningful for us.”  This was the part he knew would make Phichit the happiest.  He’d researched handfasting for the last couple of weeks, wanting to know everything he could to make this perfect.  Even with all of that information, he’d tossed almost all of it out. 

“I worked with one of the jewelry makers at the community center to make these bracelets.  I wanted to make a promise to you, for one year and a day and forever.  Help me with this, please.”

Taking the ribbon in one hand and one of Phichit’s hands in the other.  It took them a few moments of fumbling but they tied the ribbon over their hands.  Phichit laughed light and free, squeezing Chris’s hand.  

“So, we’ll keep coming back to this every year.  Together?”

“That was the idea.  I want to keep promising this to you so that you don’t forget how important you are to me.”

“I never would’ve thought of this, but you are right.  This is exactly right for us.  I want to promise you, too.  I promise for a year and a day and forever that you and I are going to able to write our own fairytale.  Because if you can scare away my ex-boyfriends and prove that you’re the perfect partner for me, then I don’t want you to forget how much I appreciate and love that about you.  You can put up with me burying myself in work and support all of my crazy ideas.  You want to live with me, even if you distract me sometimes to the point that all I can do is pin you to the wall for hours.”

He would be willing to do much more than just all of that, but he didn’t need to keep listing all of the reasons why they were going to be perfect together.  Chris knew just how much he meant to Phichit, because he was an open book, wearing his heart on his sleeve leaving kisses and the kind of love that Chris feel like he was going to be able to slay any dragon that came their way in the future.  

“Let’s do one more thing.”  Chris looked around, spotting a pair of friends walking through the park.  He waved them over.  “Can you do us a big favor and take a picture of our hands?”

They handed over their phones and with advice from all parties took several pictures before agreeing which were the best.  They thanked the strangers for their help and Chris grinned at Phichit.  “I think it’s time we showed off to the world.  What do you say?”

#oneyearandadayandforever #mostlyforever #partnersforlife

 

*

 

“A little to the left.  No, that’s too much.  Wait!  Right there!  Perfect.”

Phichit nodded approvingly as Chris stepped back from the canvas he was hanging on the wall.  It was the photo of their hands with the messy bow over it.  Phichit had gotten it for them in honor of their brand new apartment.  It was the last thing for them to put up after a week of slowly unpacking and spreading their belongings out between the new living room/kitchen and the bedroom with just enough room for their king sized bed.  It was a bit smaller than they had hoped, but Chris was especially fond of the oversized window looking over the city. 

The apartment was still freshly straightened after all of their unpacking, but it looked homey and eclectic, just like the pair living there.  Phichit went to check on his hamsters in their floor to ceiling cage by the front door.  His adorable little friends were still snoozing, but they’d be waking soon so he could let them have a bit of a stretch around the apartment.  

“Georgi looks adorable with his new girlfriend.”  Chris was flipping through Instagram on the sofa.  Phichit had seen the picture earlier.  He’d been so excited when Georgi announced that he was dating the barista from their favorite coffee shop by the office.  Phichit had always known that girl had a thing for him.  They were so infatuated with each other that was gross.  Georgi had officially received approval from his friends.

“Oh, Minami said that we’ve already reached 500,000 views on my first video.  I can’t believe he managed to get it out there so fast.  It’s only been up for less than a week.”  Chris still couldn’t believe how fast this could work.  Phichit crossed the room to sit beside him on the sofa, leaning over so he could look at the message from Minami.

“Clearly someone has already forgotten that he can bring us mere mortals to our knees with just a few bars.”  Phichit pulled the phone out of Chris’s hand and put it on the coffee table.  “Perhaps I need to do a better job of reminding you.”  He slid into Chris’s lap, winding his hands into the soft curl of blond hair.  He leaned in for a slow and adoring kiss.  “Or do I need to ask your 150,000 fans?”

“Hmm, there’s only one fan I’d like to impress.  Do you think he’d appreciate a private show?”  Chris’s hand worked their way under Phichit’s shirt, mapping out his back with calloused fingertips.  Phichit’s breath caught in his throat and he bit down on his bottom lip to silence the sudden moan that wanted to escape.  Would he ever not feel this rush of lust and love?  Oh good god, he hoped it never left him.  

Chris brought his lips to Phichit’s ear and hummed the chorus of Wicked Game.  A flash of memory struck him as he could remember their incredible first encounter.  Staring at him across the bar and praying for a chance, no matter how small, to extend this moment with this walking sex dream.  All of the stumbling and word vomit hadn’t stopped him from reaching this point.  

No, he would never stop loving this man.  

“I’ll be making you breakfast in bed tomorrow, love.  I’m going to make sure you can’t walk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for coming this far!!! I cannot begin to express how grateful I am that you've read this. If you've enjoyed it please feel free to leave a kudos or a comment. If you're feeling especially generous you're totally welcome to follow me on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/rainsdollies/) (where I'm most active). I've been sharing my doll making projects (including several handsome skater bois). 
> 
> This project is a huge expression of my love and years of learning about building my own art business. I don't claim to be an expert and some of this may be romanticized, but it is a reflection of how art and music are changing with the help of the internet. I have a lot of thoughts about all of the parts of this story and I intend to put down my notes in a tumblr post within the next few days. It's going to be long and rambly so I hope you won't mind. I'll update this note when I have it posted. 
> 
> Thank you again for being so amazing and getting this far. <3


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